Say Anything
Something occurred yesterday that aroused in me that intolerable envy of one who sees another achieve without difficulty a long cherished dream which one has failed to accomplish one's self:
Person 1 (Absentmindedly bites thumbnail)
Person 2 "Do you bite your thumb at me sir?"
Person 1 "No, sir. But I do bite my thumb."
At least for me it was a long cherished dream, of sorts, to spontaneously speak that line from Romeo and Juliet upon seeing someone make an unintentional thumb-in-teeth gesture. But i always figured the response to such an outburst would be the strained polite smile beneath a nonplussed gaze that has become so familiar to me over the years. I would not have dared to imagine that in the real world, without prior context, those lines could be blurted out so smoothly. Perhaps I should have taken the risk. It is often unclear to me what is inappropriate to say to a particular person in a particular circumstance.
For example: I encountered a retail salesperson who in his appearance reminded me of the poet David Mura. Should i have said to him, "Ya know, you look a little like David Mura." One of three things could have happened: He might have no clue who David Mura is (see reaction described above), he may opine that i say this solely because they're both asian (although you have to admit that a lot of mesomorphic, middle-aged, asian men with pony tails look alike), or he may accept the comparison, perhaps even be flattered in some way and we would engage in a discussion of Mura, his work and his life, and i would tell him that i knew a theater professor who dated him in college, and in his biography Where the Body Meets Memory he wrote about her, although the names are changed. But i figure the third event is rather unlikely so i say nothing.
I saw a woman recently wearing shoes that interested me greatly. They were red, leather with a wedge heel, but they were shaped rather like dancing shoes with laces on the instep like you would see on a ballet shoe. I wanted to ask her if she had made the same observation; and if she had been motivated to buy them because of their dance inspired design. But maybe she didn't notice. Maybe she didn't care. I didn't ask. But i still want to know what meaning, if any, those shoes contained for her. Maybe in the future i should ask more questions. Maybe soon i will see a forced smile, a bewildered look, a half-step backward from an old or a new friend.
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