11.24.2003



Matchstick Men



I have about a half dozen email adresses, more or less, which can be cumbersome, but I've managed to keep them nearly spam free by allowing one of those adresses to be used for commercial or public activities and the rest for private use only.

Lately, I've been getting an especially inordinate amount of spam at the one "dumping" address. Last week I got one of those "I need to get millions of dollars out of my home country, can I put them in your bank account?" emails. Here's an excerpt:

My Name is douglas ugwu,[sic] I am an attorney... I am writing you in respect of the former first lady and wife of the late GEN. SANI ABACHA,[sic] the former head of state and commander in chief of the armed forces of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. [She] has mandated that I search for a reliable and trustworthy foreign partner, who will help receive some funds which she had in cash totaling US$55.M (Fifty Five Million United State Dollars Only)[sic]

It's quite a lengthy email with a lot of incoherent information about Mrs. Abacha's financial situation and her arrest by the current government. Now, one would think that an educated man, a lawyer, would be capable of composing a cogent email with proper grammar and appropriate capitalization... and since "douglas" is from Nigeria, english is his first language so he has no excuse. But, it's a nice touch invoking the name of Sani Abacha.

I heard somewhere about a person who, having received a similar email offer, maintained a seemingly earnest correspondence with the perpetrator for some time pretending to seek additional information.

I wrote out a response to Mr. "ugwu's" letter. I decided to decline his offer for political reasons. I doubt it will be sent, but it reads:

"I am aware of Mr. Abacha's tenure in Nigeria and I could never aid in the transfer of funds of an individual who either is in fact, or at least should be considered a criminal according to international human rights conventions. I am certainly not a supporter of the current government, but providing such assistance to Mrs. Abacha would be counter to my principles."

Ha! As if I had principles.