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Elephant

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Want to read a scary story? Read this...

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The Way the Wind Blew

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Is it the case that the weather is warming just as I was beginning to feel compelled to purchase an unreasonably expensive sweater in order to contend with the climate?
What cruelty! Well, at least my house isn't on fire.

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I Don't Wanna Grow Up

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I think I made a girl quit at work today. We'll see, maybe she'll come back. Too bad it wasn't the one I want to quit. I should learn to use my powers of occupational incompetence for good and not evil.

I went to Amazon.com and there was a letter from Jeff Bezos announcing that now amazon can be searched by words or content of a book. You'll notice, won't you, that all of my blog titles are authentic titles of songs, albums, books, movies, etc. that are intended to relate in some way to the blog topic. I often go to amazon and enter a search just to ruminate over a title to apply here. I entered a very general term: "birthday." Now instead of a few titles that I probably wouldn't use anyway, I get 32,000 results. I cannot, in any way, use 32,000 results. Thanks, Jeff Bezos.

As you can see I ultimately settled on the title of the classic Tom Waits song, which is topical because yesterday was my birthday. I was pleased that it transpired without hardly any mention or notice (until now), except for an unexpected email from an unlikely source and a drink with a colleague after work. We stopped at the bar of a Bennigan's of all places and I was offered a drink called a "lunchbox" with which I was, not surprisingly, unfamiliar. The barista was similarly befuddled, but accepted direction on assembling the drink. It's simply beer with orange juice and a shot (or double shot) of amaretto. It may not sound like a good idea, I was dubious myself, but it's actually quite a pleasant combination.

Denouement
Someone reflecting on his own condition said to me recently, "It doesn't pay to get old."
My response was, "Well, you only have two choices."
"What's that?," he said.
"You either grow old, or you die young," I replied.
I'm not sure which choice is better, actually.

"But, I have promises to keep. And miles to go before I sleep..."

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Mystery White Boy

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Go Brock Forsey!

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Ill Communication

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Yes I know, I know. You had something witty, poignant or downright profound to say about one or both of the posts below, but you were unexpectedly thwarted by the apparent expiration of my free Squawkbox commenting account. Well, I don't know yet how I'm going to resolve this issue. But, you can always email me any and all comments you would otherwise share and I'll post them like back in the days of origin.

>>>>UPDATE<<<<

Comments are back. All hail haloscan. Unfortunately, I could not recover the months of comments submitted through Squawkbox, so there they go, into the dustbin of history.

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Kitchen Confidential

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This article in the NY Times caught my eye because risotto is one of my favorite dishes to make. A basic risotto recipe is easy to implement and extremely versatile. The hardest part, for me, is getting the texture right. The only risotto I've ever had actually, has been made by own hands, so I hope I'm not making some alien dish that would be unrecognizable to anyone else.

I have acquired a cut on the palm of my left hand. It's just a little deeper than a paper cut--one of those shallow cuts whose stinging pain is inversely proportional to it's severity. It's left a long red mark on the palm of my hand, which I don't mind so much because now I can go around claiming to have the Stigmata.

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Me Against the World

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Apparently, the NRA has a lot of work to do.

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Oh What A World

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Hey, how come no one told me that Rufus Wainwright released an album in September? I had to walk into Rock Records yesterday to find out. Who's got my back out there? Who's got my musical back?

One of these days we will have to discuss the theory of suboptimization, but for now, check out my banner ad. Blogger is digging deep for relevant content--I haven't written about Pinochet in over a month. Hey, how many blogs can claim a post about Pinochet in the last month? Take that, everybody who doesn't blog about political history!

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Heartbreaker

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Well, I'm glad that's over. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse can stable their steeds again-- there will be no Cub Series. I'm quite pleased. Andy wrote about how he was "happy to be a part of it," watching game 6 on Tuesday. Since I could not find a way to be a part of it, I wanted it to not happen. Now, happily, I am relieved of the circumstance that engendered that bout of unmitigated selfishness.
Now, two remaining issues to discuss:

1)When will the infamous fan of game six be turned over to the D.O.D. and shipped out to Guantanamo with the rest of the "bad people"?

2)What is the deal with journalists writing about curses on sports teams as if such metaphysical ridiculosities were fait accompli? Why do people write about these things as if they exist in actual fact? Sure, it's fun to say: "the Cubs/Red Sox are cursed," but i've seen these things written about as if a long dead, fat, lush of an ex-pitcher can actually cause an entire franchise to lose, or that an immigrant and his mangy goat can command fate.

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Good Fortune

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Go, Marlins.

Go, anti-Jeffery Maier.

Hmm... "Good Fortune" I think I'll listen to that song now... I love iTunes...
Alright, quiz time. What artist am I listening to right now? The song is "Good Fortune." And let's give someone else a chance to answer or google search, whatever the case may be.

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Bandwagonesque

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Hopefully, this will be the last time I mention the Cubs here, because I've grown weary of seeing that add for playoff tix at the top.

I am, fundamentally, a Sox fan. However, I harbor no animosity toward the Cubs. Essentially, when the Cubs win, I'm happy; when the Cubs lose, I'm still happy. Seeing the Cubs scrape their way into the playoffs in 1998 was as much fun for me as watching them go 0-14 to start the next season.

During the last couple of months of this baseball season, I began to fall out of touch with both teams. So now, here we are in the midst of this Cub playoff frenzy, and I cannot find it within myself to really care. I've tried, I just don't care.

I started following baseball in 1988, both the Sox and Cubs. I've been watching Cubs baseball for 15 years. I've paid my dues. But this really isn't the same Cub team whose fortunes or misfortunes I looked forward to at the beginning of the season and rooting for this team now makes me feel like a bandwagoneer (as so many others are). I wanted to root for Corey Patterson not Kenny Lofton, Hee Sop Choi not Randall "Sausage Killer" Simon. Does anyone even remember Mark Bellhorn?

Anyway the point is, I'm officially rooting against the Cubs, as futile an effort as that may be, because I don't want the Cubs to win the World Series while I'm not paying attention after having abdicated what should have been my seat on the bandwagon.

Also,
something has got to give. I've said this many times before, but now it's getting serious: this town ain't big enough for both Dick Pole and Dick Johnson.

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Demolition Man

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Oh sure, gang up on the new guy.

Also,
I can imagine that casting your recall ballot for Arnold might seem like a fun idea, kind of like voting for Evil Dave Sheldon, but don't you think there would be a little buyer's remorse? But, I'm sure all of California's problems will be solved when the debt-ridden Federal Government that won't even fully fund its own Homeland Security mandates pumps in billions of dollars to shore up the state's economy.

Speaking of which,
I didn't really follow the recall much, nor anything else having to do with the outside world, but tell me if you think this candidate platform was serious or satire.

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Drive My Car

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Support the Patriot Tax! Of course, I don't have a car, so I wouldn't be directly impacted--I'm in favor of taxes that don't affect me.

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All the President's Men

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I managed to catch intermittent glimpses of the NLDS featuring the Cubs and Braves Saturday and I heard the Tv broadcasters talking the friendship between former Texas Ranger and current Atlanta Brave Julio Franco and the President George W. Bush. It was said the two are so close, Julio Franco has a number to call the White House to speak to George and that the Bush family attended his wedding; including GW's parents and twin daughters.
Two Questions:
1)Who do you think would win in a drinking contest: the Bush twins or the Hilton sisters?
2)Do you think the White House used Julio Franco to leak the classified information that Amb. Joe Wilson's wife is a CIA agent? Julio Franco is deep throat!

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Higher Learning

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In spite of the fact that I was hired over a month ago for the position, I, due to the delays of institutional bureaucracy, will not begin my reign of terror as an accounting tutor for one of the City Colleges of Chicago until next week.
Didn't know I was an accounting whiz did ya? Ok, I'm not. However, I did apply exclusively for the position, which post hoc, ergo propter hoc makes me exclusively qualified for the position. From what I understand, the position requires me to sit in a room for five hours and do nothing; which I would happily do anyway at home, without pay. Eventually, I hope to work out an arrangement whereby I actually just stay home. Such an arrangement would be so much more convenient for me and hassle free for my employer. In any case, I am proud to join the ranks of the noble educators who, through generous and altruistic endeavors spread learning to the supple minds of America.

Here is a sample topic from my internal discourse: a little earlier, I was considering the relationship between the Tenacious D song "Tribute" and the painting The Flaying of Marsyas by the Italian Renaissance painter Titian. There is one, you know. By the way, and I've been wanting to mention this for a while, have you ever noticed that Frank Lloyd Wright's furniture looks a lot like Mies van der Rohe's buildings? Alright. I'm done now.

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Lapis Lazuli

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This is not the first time I've admitted this possibility, nor am I the first to seriously suggest this, but: listen carefully, i'm going to whisper: shhh.... the Cubs could win the World Series. shhh... I don't know how to feel about that really. Oh, well I'll probably miss all the games anyway like I missed tonight's. "And what rough beast, it's hour come round at last, slouches toward [Wrigley Field] to be born?"