alpha charlie bravo, for no discernible purpose, presents:
The Five Creepiest Movies of All Time (as far as I'm aware).

5. Tideland
Okay, so there's this 10 year old girl named Jeliza-Rose who lives in an abandoned farm house with the corpse of her recently deceased father. Her only companions are her imagination and the doll heads (yes, only the heads) she talks to. That is, until she meets and develops a friendship with a mentally handicapped man who likes to blow things up and his hyper-religious aunt who likes to keep a corpse or two around the house herself. Brought to you by the director of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Enjoy.

4. Crumb
You might well expect this documentary about the cartoonist R. Crumb to be kind of creepy given the sort of things that spring from the mind and pen of its subject. But, what really makes this movie creepy is when you meet R. Crumb's family and discover that he's the normal one.

3. Gummo
Cinematic wunderkind Harmony Korine, who wrote the movie Kids at the age of seventeen, gives us in his directorial debut a plot-less cavalcade of freaks; some played by actors and some played by townies, which makes it all the more creepy. The boys in the town spend their days spitting off the overpass or killing stray cats. Werner Herzog cavorts in his underwear. There's a gay midget and Chloe Sevigny. Need I say more?

2. Mulholland Dr.
David Lynch originally made this as a Tv pilot, but when it was rejected he re-cut it into a feature film. It's filled with creepy scenes. For example: this one; made creepier by the fact that the scene has nothing to do with the plot (whatever the plot is) and features two characters that do not appear anywhere else in the movie. But don't watch that scene, because if you do you won't forgive me in time to watch this one. It's the final scene of the movie and sums things up nicely with a rousing: Wtf?

1. Crash
No, not that Crash. This is the David Cronenberg movie about people who are sexually aroused by car accidents (oh, yes). I believe I have mentioned before that this movie features the single creepiest performance ever recorded on film. But, it's not just Elias Koteas that puts Crash atop this list. Watch this movie, but make sure you have enough soap to take 3 or 4 showers afterward.