The Best of alpha charlie bravo presents a fawning ode to the NCAA Men's Basketball tournament:

Love and Basketball
3.18.2004

Dancer In The Dark

alpha charlie bravo™ would like to apologize to the following individuals for having been subjected at one time or another to the unfortunate circumstance of being my dance partner.

Chanté
I think it was in 7th grade when we were paired together for a dance that was to be performed at an assembly for our parents. I felt terribly sorry for the poor girl and her rotten luck.

My Mom
There was an obligatory Mother/Son dance in High School the highlight of which was a classmate who tore up the floor as he polka danced around the gym with his mother. Needless to say, we got served.

Laura
She was my dance partner in Wisconsin Death Trip. Not only was the girl subjected on more than one occasion to a voracious foot stomping, I also accidentally grabbed her boob during a rehearsal.

Jim
I passed on the opportunity to dance with him at his own wedding, but we did share a tender moment during the Urban Therapy wedding reception.

Cleo
Really, it's her own fault. I was doing just fine seated in my chair at the Nancerus wedding reception, but she insisted. She didn't really need a partner anyway. She could have danced the night away on her own.

Real Talk

Excerpt from an actual conversation:

Interlocutor: I have a favor to ask you.

acb: Does it involve soy milk?

Interlocutor: Yes.

This excerpt from an actual conversation has been brought to you by:
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Extra pauperes nulla salus

You may, but probably will not recall this teasing blog post. Well, I figured I might as well reveal my plan so that it is recorded here for posterity. And by posterity, I mean my own boundless ego.

In order for the plan to be implemented there are some prerequisites. First, political stability, transparency and the rule of law: you've got to have a government with its head on straight. Second, environmental stability. The potential impact of climate change on the developing world could severely impede any attempt to implement this plan.

Also, it should be noted that this is a plan for ending poverty in the developing world. It does not specifically address the problems of poverty within wealthy societies north of the equator such as ours. Many of the following steps will surely be considered controversial, if not altogether radical. However, this is not an attempt to restructure the global economy. Instead, I want to use what the global economy already does well in order to accomplish a specific goal.

1. Debt Forgiveness
This first step will liberate governments from the onerous burdens of debt service so that they will be able to allocate resources toward social spending. One argument against debt relief and forgiveness is that it creates a moral hazard causing international investment to become disincentivized. In my view, politically, we have to say we're going to hit the reset button and just start the game over.

2. Health Care
Disease and poor nutrition are hidden causes of economic instability. My primary focus here is to substantially reduce the number of deaths from treatable and preventable diseases.

3. Food Sovereignty
OK, so maybe I'm restructuring the global economy a little bit.
The ultimate goal here is to have an economy that could, hypothetically, function as a closed system. Ideally, an economy trades for prosperity; not survival. Any nation that allocates a majority of its agricultural resources toward growing cash crops while importing the staples on which its people subsist is on the wrong side of the equation.

4. Living Wage
Let's say Nike, whose shoes are made in Indonesia is required to increase pay by $5 a day for each employee. Phil Knight has two options: he could pass the entire increased labor cost onto the consumer in the developed world (inflation) or he could take a smaller profit margin. Either scenario works for me, because in the long run, by paying a living wage, Phil is creating a new market for his products. That new market may eventually suck up the lost demand from his price increase or make up the difference in profits by expanding his market share.
It's essential that this policy be applied universally across the developing world in order to avert a "race to the bottom" with respect to labor costs.

5. Education for Girls
This would probably be the least controversial aspect of the plan in "the West," but it's my secret ingredient. Nothing I've written above matters if you can't raise the standard of living of the girls who are of school age now. Living standards throughout the world are matrilineal. Even in our own society, the leading cause of poverty among women and children is divorce. Girls grow up to be women who are heads of households all over the world. Girls living in poverty who grow up to be women living in poverty make a society in poverty. But educate a girl, give her a future and she will carry your next generation into prosperity.

I figure it would take about 80 years to eradicate global poverty. Of course, there are any number of potential complications along the way: flood, famine, corruption, war. But significant improvements in the lowest standards of living should be easily measurable within 10 years. In 20 years, there would be noticeable reductions in the number of people living in poverty.

This seems so simple it must mean, I am a brilliant visionary, or I am hopelessly naive, or that we are so far from having the will to accomplish this that I have essentially written an eschatological fantasy.