Yes, the show that takes ugly women and transforms them into sideshow freaks. After the transformation, some of those women look ok; pretty good even. But Good Lord, they're going to fall apart in five years.

It's inconceivable to me that anyone would choose to undergo so many procedures, endure the physical pain and unknown consequences for a chance, just a chance to compete in a phony pageant put on by Fox! The network could just as easily round up 12 women, give them haircuts and have them parade around the stage and crown one of them least aesthetically challenged. But, I suppose that would not quite rise to the level of shameful degradation of humanity that Fox is looking for.

I checked out The Swan website and its message board. The board is flooded with people who want to become contestants. One woman, apparently not quite understanding the concept of a public message board, posted her name, age, address, home phone number and wireless phone number in her attempt to attract the attention of the show's cult leaders. So, if you want to prank her I've got her number.

These people really expect to be made whole from the outside. What if they're right? What if we live in a world that is so shallow that people with profound problems can be made whole from the outside?

And speaking of vanity I wore my hair in braids all week and felt quite good about it so it is clear that I don't need a haircut: I need a new job.