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The Lexus and The Olive Tree

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I saw a man on the Metra train this morning, wearing baby blue sweatpants and a vinyl jacket, discard his McDonald's bag under the seat in front of him. I wanted to say to him, "Hey this isn't the CTA! There's a garbage can a few steps in front of you. You can't just make your refuse magically disappear by placing it outside of your peripheral vision!" I believe in the rule of law. Nature may be arbitrary, but you can't have a society of arbitrary actors. There have to be mutually accepted norms based on general principles and values.

Tom Friedman was on Charlie Rose last night, and I always enjoy his point of view. He mentioned that Paul Wolfowitz had given an interview in Vanity Fair (i can't look up the link now, if it's online please share the URL) in which he basically stated that the weapons of mass destruction issue had been "exaggerated" and that it really didn't matter whether Iraq possessed them or not. I'm rather annoyed that I spent time trying to refute the WMD issue when it turned out not to matter at all. Oh well. And I never got a chance to tell you that I think even a sensible imperialist would think three times before launching into a campaign to "reshape the external world." If I had the opportunity to step before a computer monitor when the Saudi Arabia bombings happened, I would have told you to advocate the bombing of the Saudi people. Why waste time with mustached misanthropic super villains when it's the ordinary men women and children that are a security threat. They hijack planes, they bomb apartment buildings... sure some innocent members of the Saudi royal family will get killed, but at the end Crown Prince Abdullah will be dancing in the streets.

Instead of having traditional Presidential elections next year, we should elect either a Tom Friedman foriegn policy or a William Kristol foriegn policy. The democrats get Friedman (sure he's a ringer, but they need the help) and the republicans, Kristol. Let the people vote. It's Kristol's "bomb the world" vs. Friedman's "save the arabs... by bombing them" and "McDonald's for peace." (Friedman wrote that no two countries with a McDonald's would ever go to war. Shh. Don't tell him there's been a McDonald's in Belgrade for years. Right now Iran and Syria are saving up for the franchise fees.)

Last week, I was in such a pleasant mood. Not only was the memorial day parade downtown but also the International Man of Leather competion was at the Palmer House last weekend. So there was the lovely juxtapostion of veterans in uniform and gay men in leather and fatigues. But look at me now, I'm a shell of a shell. Maybe I should wear more leather.

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The Matrix Revisited

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I find this disquieting, but it is not unusual, especially on Sundays, when I take the train downtown to see the same travelers on my return trip that I encountered on my way to my destination. There was an odd looking couple sitting behind me and the guy was engaged in an annoying soliloquy about his friends and neighbors: "Frank gave up weed for the bible."
There was another pair in front of me across the aisle whom I hesitate to call a couple because they were such a mismatched pair. The girl looked more like a guide or patron to the guy she was with than a girlfriend or friendly companion. But perhaps they are a couple and patronage is an aspect of their relationship.

Between my two encounters with this pair of unusual couples, two things happened that relate to recent posts here. First, I had lunch with a man who has actually written a book, a novel. Second, I saw The Matrix: Reloaded, which we'll discuss shortly, and also I went to the Virgin Megastore which has nothing to do with anything but I saw a book there called Eminem: In His Own Words which was a rather brief volume with lots of pictures. Also there was a biography alt.country upstart Ryan Adams, which I thought was a little strange considering he hasn't produced that much work yet, at least as a solo artist, and not much of that is good.

Now, the Matrix. Can I ruin it for you? Huh? Please can I ruin it for you? Okay I won't. But let me say first of all what a pedantic babbling load of crap. Are the Wachowskis so enamored with their pedestrian worldview that every character has to proselytize every time there's a lull in the action? How about the plot? Remember the plot? Come on, let's go! Also, something happens at the end of the movie which re-invigorated my confusion about the imaginary world acting on the phenomenal world. But anyway...

On my way back in the train station I saw both couples. The second couple I mentioned had been shopping and the guy was all tuckered out, slouched on the bench with his eyes closed while his female companion was still bright eyed and perky. The first couple, the odd looking ones behind me, were engaged in a discreet tiff. But ulitmately,. the woman took a step back, pointed an index finger at her interlocutor's chest and yelled, "Get the fuck out of my life! Get the fuck out of my life!" and stormed off. The man just stood their looking as sheepish as the Smiths when Neo left them in his wake.

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Strange Days

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The people who use the internet at the public library are strange. Of course, some of them are homeless, but even those who appear to have permanent dwellings are odd. If a person makes an appointment to use a computer at the library, then obviously they find significant utility in the device. This being the case, why do they not own one themselves? Because in one way or another, there is something wrong with them. I can't say what, every case is different, but all such creatures must have some fundamental personal flaw which prevents them from possessing the worldly objects which they acknowledge themselves they have need of. I usually distinguish myself from this group simply by the fact that I wear clean clothes, but the basic truth is undeniable: we are the dregs of post-modern society. My condition being as such, these blog posts may become more infrequent and less predictable in the coming months. My summer is an unfolding mystery and I may not get to the keyboard as often as I would like.
So what should I do with myself now? I think i might go to McDonald's and get a McRib since it's back! and since it inspired the Simpsons to do a parody of Requiem for A Dream when Homer takes a bite of a Krusty Burger "rib" sandwich causing his pupils to dilate and his arteries to fill with, i suppose, barbecue sauce. Or I could go to a local emergency room and pretend to have pnuemonic plague.
When I was in the library last week, and I could neither conceive of nor serendipitously encounter a book that would pique my interest I thought, "well, maybe I'll just write a book." Oh yeah, that's a solution. I'm sure that's how Marcel Proust got started: he couldn't find a book he wanted to read so he said, "hey, you know what, I'll just write a three volume masterpiece. Yeah, that'll pass the time."
Maybe I'll just get some sleep. But first, McRib. Wait, wait there go my pupils.

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Reloaded

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Here's the problem I have with The Matrix, aside from the Cartesian or Platonic (whichever you prefer) metaphysics: the issue of free will in an illusory world. Since the world of "The Matrix" is an immaterial realm, completely separate from the (to use a Kantian term) phenomenal realm, how can events in the former have consequence in the latter? Is Neo ever in danger when he's fighting holograms? Doesn't his knowledge of free will make him omnipotent inside the Matrix? I've only seen the movie once and a downloaded bootleg copy without even a temp. score at that, but these questions persistently mute the ability of the media to generate in me enthusiasm for the continuation of the trilogy.

And it is such a disappointment to see Zadie Smith's novel White Teeth turned into such a weak, hurried, unfunny television event on PBS check your local listings. I will say no more except that if I could have written a better adaptation (and I could have), couldn't someone (who unlike me, is actually a productive member of society) be enlisted to create a decent production from that book?

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GoldenEye

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Does anybody know what the integral of csc²x is? It's driving me nuts.

I read somewhere that David Bowie issues his own bonds secured on upcoming record sales. I read this a while ago, but it just occurred to me: what if I issued my own "bonds"? I'm not in any way incorporated, so they wouldn't technically be bonds, but they could perform in the same manner. Just think of it. You give me $1000 and you get a 10 year unsecured bond at an interest rate of 8%, paid annually, and ten years from now, you get your 1000 bucks back! How can you lose? What are you going to do with that money anyway? Put it in the bank? Ha! No bank account will accrue 8% interest. Most likely, you'll just flitter it away on video games, booze and women. You know how you are. So why not invest in your future? Wouldn't you like to have an extra $1000 ten years from now? Of course you would. So buy alpha charlie bravo bonds. They probably help fight terrorism in their own peculiar way.

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A Man For All Seasons

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Returning videos late is stupid. Last week I had to pay the exorbitant fine for having damn Gummo a day past its due, and right now i'm in possesion of The Powerpuff Girls Movie 12 hours beyond its deadline.

I began trying to make a list of every book i've ever read. A characteristically ambitious endeavor that is characteristically unlikely to ever be completed. I looked at the Harvard 100 Recommended Books; I've read around 15 of those I guess, and many of them are significant books, but still, they're just recommendations by people who work in a book store. "Barrel Fever" by David Sedaris is on that list; have I completely missed the literary magnitude of the David Sedaris canon? I may offer a partial list, or a list of the "most significant" (to me) books i've read.

Since the weather has been warm I can start listening consistently to my summer set of music. Some CD's I tend to listen to more during a particular season. For example I prefer to listen to Rufus Wainwright's debut album in late fall/early winter, but I listen to his second album Poses in spring/early summer. Some of this is just a memory cue referring to when I acquired the music, but partly it's in the themes or tone of the music itself. I can't listen to Poi Dog Pondering or Liquid Soul in the Winter, although as i'm thinking about it, probably everything is in play when the weather is warm, so there I go, i've just blown up my entire premise.

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A Spoonful Weighs a Ton

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And so well the Flaming Lips concert was quite a spectacle with giant balloons, confetti, a smoke machine, people dressed in animal costumes, teletubbies on a video screen and considerable amounts of loud music. Rather enjoyable.

Thursday, of course, was May Day and I completely forgot to write about it when I sat down in front of the machine. So here goes: "What May Day means to me" by: alpha charlie bravo [clears throat] ... [Pinter pause] ... well, anyway i think it's important to remember that people died for the 8 hour work week.
A few years ago a graduate student at Norhwestern with whom I was acquainted, wrote and directed a play about the labor riot at Haymarket Square in Chicago in 1886 and the dubious conviction of eight men and execution of four implicated in the riot. The riot ocurred on May 4, three days after national protests for an 8 hour work day, on May 1. Considering that this is local history, besides its significance to the international labor movement, I probably should have known more about it. But at the time I knew next to nothing about Haymarket and its place in labor history. For more information: visit The Chicago Historical Society Haymarket Affair Digital Collection.

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Ego Tripping

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Not to be outdone by Laz's Pearl Jam Concert or actually, to be outdone considerably, at least in terms of name recognition and fan base, I am looking forward to seeing The Flaming Lips in concert at the Riviera on Saturday, preceeded by the Urban Therapy Family Guy marathon.

The Out of Context Quote of the Week (actually from last week):
In a radio interview, record producer Daniel Lanois, who has worked with U2, Bob Dylan, and others said:

"...I'm going to have sex with this woman,
but i'm not going to shove a pizza in her face while I do it."

Now, let's see what kind of Google search hits I can get with that.