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Get On the Bus

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I seem to spend most of my life idly: waiting for the bus. And when one is boarding a commuter bus, it is apparently customary to step aside to allow members of the female gender to board ahead of you, if you are male. Having spent the majority of my life in engaged in such idleness, i am well acquainted with this traditional practice. Generally, I regard all the trappings of what is commonly referred to as "chivalry" to be actually a form of patriarchy: a set of subtle methods to subjugate women and deprive them of their agency. However, I do typically assent to the practice of "ladies first," simply to avoid an inconvenient transgression of minor social mores. But lately, when i'm preparing to board the bus and entirely willing to adhere to traditional practice, women will just walk right in front of me, as individuals or in groups, coming from all directions and usurping my place in line as if they enjoyed a sense of entitlement to public transportation. Is this where our society is headed? And does chivalric tradition still apply if the woman in question is a lesbian?

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Curb Your Enthusiasm

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There are two young women I notice from time to time, in the course of my daily activities who stand out in a crowd of commuters. I always see them together; as far as i can recall, I have never seen one without the other. What so intrigues me about them is the manner in which they walk. It's not the form of the walk, although they move in lockstep, shoulder to shoulder with their arms bent at the elbows such that if you caught them in the corner of your vision you might conceive of them as walking arm in arm. It's not the pace, although they walk quickly, but not with the sense of urgency one typically identifies with the hurried commuter. It is that they move with a sense of anticipation. They walk as if something is going to happen or is already happening, perhaps just around the next corner, that they are anxious to get to: some novel experience, some new fun for which they must, for now, try to contain their excitement, but they can't quite conceal it. The staccatto rhythm of four spindly legs slicing through the air reveals a hint of some lighthearted mischief on the horizon. And as I stand and observe them as they saunter past, I wonder where they are going and what happens when they get there.

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Boss

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Hey, they arrested my hero, the self proclaimed "Mayor of Baghdad". What law has he broken? What law even exists in Iraq? Oh, sure you can loot all the palaces and museums you like, but don't even think about holding imaginary committee meetings in your hotel room. I didn't realize there could be such dire consequences for giving yourself a false title. I guess I ought to stop going around calling myself "The King of the Jews." A person could get into a lot of trouble for that.