5.15.2003



Strange Days




The people who use the internet at the public library are strange. Of course, some of them are homeless, but even those who appear to have permanent dwellings are odd. If a person makes an appointment to use a computer at the library, then obviously they find significant utility in the device. This being the case, why do they not own one themselves? Because in one way or another, there is something wrong with them. I can't say what, every case is different, but all such creatures must have some fundamental personal flaw which prevents them from possessing the worldly objects which they acknowledge themselves they have need of. I usually distinguish myself from this group simply by the fact that I wear clean clothes, but the basic truth is undeniable: we are the dregs of post-modern society. My condition being as such, these blog posts may become more infrequent and less predictable in the coming months. My summer is an unfolding mystery and I may not get to the keyboard as often as I would like.
So what should I do with myself now? I think i might go to McDonald's and get a McRib since it's back! and since it inspired the Simpsons to do a parody of Requiem for A Dream when Homer takes a bite of a Krusty Burger "rib" sandwich causing his pupils to dilate and his arteries to fill with, i suppose, barbecue sauce. Or I could go to a local emergency room and pretend to have pnuemonic plague.
When I was in the library last week, and I could neither conceive of nor serendipitously encounter a book that would pique my interest I thought, "well, maybe I'll just write a book." Oh yeah, that's a solution. I'm sure that's how Marcel Proust got started: he couldn't find a book he wanted to read so he said, "hey, you know what, I'll just write a three volume masterpiece. Yeah, that'll pass the time."
Maybe I'll just get some sleep. But first, McRib. Wait, wait there go my pupils.

5.14.2003



Reloaded



Here's the problem I have with The Matrix, aside from the Cartesian or Platonic (whichever you prefer) metaphysics: the issue of free will in an illusory world. Since the world of "The Matrix" is an immaterial realm, completely separate from the (to use a Kantian term) phenomenal realm, how can events in the former have consequence in the latter? Is Neo ever in danger when he's fighting holograms? Doesn't his knowledge of free will make him omnipotent inside the Matrix? I've only seen the movie once and a downloaded bootleg copy without even a temp. score at that, but these questions persistently mute the ability of the media to generate in me enthusiasm for the continuation of the trilogy.

And it is such a disappointment to see Zadie Smith's novel White Teeth turned into such a weak, hurried, unfunny television event on PBS check your local listings. I will say no more except that if I could have written a better adaptation (and I could have), couldn't someone (who unlike me, is actually a productive member of society) be enlisted to create a decent production from that book?



5.08.2003



GoldenEye



Does anybody know what the integral of csc2x is? It's driving me nuts.

I read somewhere that David Bowie issues his own bonds secured on upcoming record sales. I read this a while ago, but it just occurred to me: what if I issued my own "bonds"? I'm not in any way incorporated, so they wouldn't technically be bonds, but they could perform in the same manner. Just think of it. You give me $1000 and you get a 10 year unsecured bond at an interest rate of 8%, paid annually, and ten years from now, you get your 1000 bucks back! How can you lose? What are you going to do with that money anyway? Put it in the bank? Ha! No bank account will accrue 8% interest. Most likely, you'll just flitter it away on video games, booze and women. You know how you are. So why not invest in your future? Wouldn't you like to have an extra $1000 ten years from now? Of course you would. So buy alpha charlie bravo bonds. They probably help fight terrorism in their own peculiar way.