A Perfect Ganesh

I hadn't been paying attention to the story about the missing woman (now found) from Des Plaines until I read this paragraph:

Her husband, Dignesh Solanki, had said his wife may have been placing a religious statue in the Des Plaines River on the day she went missing. The statue of the deity Ganesh, revered as the Hindu god of good fortune and wisdom, had broken and a religious leader told them that placing it in the water would ward off bad luck.

I didn't know it's bad luck to break a statue of Ganesh. I broke my statue of Ganesh not long after I acquired it about eight years ago. It's a good thing I'm neither superstitious nor Hindu or else I could have suffered through nearly a decade of bad luck.

Melody Day

Above is the Song of the Year podcast.
Play it loud(ly).

Run time: 1:01:42

A message to Thaksin Shinawatra:



No, you can't return from exile.
Not yours.

alpha charlie bravo extends its warmest, sincerest and not at all ironically tinged holiday wishes to you and your family.

And now a word about what Christmas means to me.
Christmas means... it's time for the Doctor Who special:

I volunteered to help with this last night (mostly to look for the new phone AT&T is shipping me), but I didn't get to go. So instead I made the following promo:




Run Time: 1:00

Sometime next week, I will release my Best Albums of 2007 list in podcast form.

Apparently, there was no official list for 2006, so I'm making one out of a compulsive desire to have everything orderly.

2006:

1) The Decemberists
    The Crane Wife

2) Neko Case
    Fox Confessor Brings the Flood

3) Sufjan Stevens
    The Avalanche

4) The Roots
    Game Theory

5) Beirut
    Gulag Orkestar

6) Midlake
    The Trials of Van Occupanther

7) The Dresden Dolls
    Yes, Virginia

8) The Weepies
    Say I Am You

9) Mission of Burma
    The Obliterati

10)Tapes 'n Tapes
     The Loon

Continuing the current practice of using YouTube as a proxy for actual content, I present to you the following: More obscure (more or less) songs in advertisements.

1) I'm sure you've seen those creepy Cadillac ads that ask if you and your car are engaged in a sexual relationship. Well, that commercial uses just a few seconds of a song called "Stars" by the band Hum. This song was hot in Chicago in 1995. Here's the video.

2) This Target Ad features a song called "We Just Won't Be Defeated" by The Go! Team. Here's a video of The Go! Team performing that song live.

3) Finally, another ad you're sure to have seen numerous times. The commercial for Apple's iPod nano: "A little video for everyone." Until last week I had never seen the entire video that's displayed on the iPod. So, here is "1234" by Feist.

Do you know how I know Oprah is evil?
She may have killed Kanye's mom.

Rocket Man

I heard the song Rocket Man on the radio last night, so I thought I would share this video with you. If you have never seen it, you are in for a treat. It is far superior to the Family Guy parody because... well, because it's real.

I had assembled a playlist of thirty songs to commemorate the anniversary of my birth. These songs were selected from my personal digital archive and have some sort of relevance to my existence. However, the problem with this sort of thing is: the songs don't necessarily go well together. I've tried to make them fit as best as possible, but I don't know if anyone besides me (since I know and like all the songs) would enjoy listening to it. Here is the list: If anyone wants a copy on compact disc, I will happily produce one for you.

Disc 1:

1. Ballade 4 Part 1
Tosca Tango Orchestra

2. Nature Boy
Kurt Elling

3. Voodoo Child (Slight Return)
Jimi Hendrix

4. Southside
Common

5. Disarm
Smashing Pumpkins

6. The Boy Who Wouldn't Hoe Corn
Alison Krauss + Union Station

7. Gun
Uncle Tupelo

8. Cowpoke
Don Walser

9. Subterranean Homesick Alien
Radiohead

10. Grace
Jeff Buckley

11. Daylight
Aesop Rock

12. There Comes a Time
Matt Wilson's Arts & Crafts

13. Away from the Snakes
Tim Fite

14. Inner City Blues
Marvin Gaye

15. Día A Día
Rubén Blades

Disc 2 (Yeah, it's an Epic):

1. Waiting for My Real Life to Begin
Colin Hay

2. Either Way
Wilco

3. A Shot in the Arm
Wilco

4. Umi Says
Mos Def

5. Babe, I'm On Fire
Nick Cave

6. Too Sick To Pray
A3

7. Desperado
The Eagles

8. Nobody Knows Me At All
The Weepies

9. I Am The Man
Nicolay

10. A.M. 180
Grandaddy

11. I Just Wasn't Made for These Times
The Beach Boys

12. Clock With No Hands
The Roots

13. Africa
D'Angelo

14. Videotape
Radiohead

15. My Life
Iris Dement

The Chicago Transit Authority

I saw the following on the news last night and was enthralled by one outspoken citizen of our fair city: The People's Republic of Chicago (Henceforth known as PRC). I don't know who this Glenn Gordon guy is, but somebody should get him a Tv show.

Here video click

My Gaad!

Hey kids, time to earn your class participation credits.
I was talking music with a co-worker Friday night and he mentioned that Earth, Wind and Fire is one of his favorite bands, but he hates the song "Reasons."

So, is there a popular song that you don't like by one of your favorite artists?

I thought of two: "Creep" by Radiohead (the song that first made them famous) and "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" by Smashing Pumpkins (the first single from the Mellon Collie album).

Fire away.

(Not afraid to work overtime...)

Barbara Ann

Childrens do learn.
But, apparently government don't.

Before the start of the baseball season I was going to post my predictions for the division winners. Ultimately, I didn't because I couldn't get it to format correctly and who cares anyway. So I can't prove it, but I may get all six division winners correct. But it could all go wrong this weekend as the Mets are engaged in an historic collapse, the Cubs are desperately trying to give their lead away and the Diamondbacks are holding on for dear life.

I don't know if you are familiar with this artist or this song, but I bet I know what your experience of watching this video will be: First you may think, "well the music's nice." Then she will begin to sing and you will think "wtf?" Because this is a video of a live performance you will probably skip the "is this a joke?" phase. Your next thought will fall into one of two categories: "this is horrible," or "this is fantastic." Those of you who think the latter probably have serious psychological issues. I myself find it practically unbearable. But, it's actually a good song. In fact, there's a version of this song inside my head that I enjoy. I wish you could hear my version, but maybe you'll have your own.

I Dreamed I Stopped Dreaming

I heard somewhere that it's not good form socially to talk about one's own dreams as if they would be of any interest to anyone besides one's self. Therefore, I won't bore you with the details of the dream I had last night which featured Steven Colbert and enormous quantities of pasta.

I also will refrain from telling you about how last week, I fell asleep with NPR on while John Mearsheimer was being questioned about his book The Israel Lobby and U.S. Foreign Policy and dreamed that I was on the field watching an MLB team take batting practice. I was chatting with a pitcher about Carlos Lee when he suddenly turned the conversation to Jewish outfielders.

Now I'm convinced that Shawn Green wants to go to war with Iran.

I suck at Fantasy Football. ...And life.

Although, the two aren't necessarily related.
But, they might be. Hell, I don't know.

Injury Report:
alpha charlie bravo | Bicep | Probable

I'm cold and there are wolves after me.

Blink

This is the Doctor Who episode for people who aren't Doctor Who fans.

So, watch it.
But, don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back, don't look away and Don't blink.

Stand Down

This is the temporary home of The Mind of the Metropolitan.
The new episode is below. Run time: 33:29.

clap clap clapclapclap

This edition of The Best of alpha charlie bravo fulfills an annual quota of Jerry Lewis references: The Tears of a Clown.







Lady!

Hot Thing

In honor of their victory over Michigan today:



----------------
Now playing: Talib Kweli - Hot Thing

Go U!

----------------
Now playing: Stevie Wonder - We Can Work It Out

New Magnetic Wonder

I refuse to host my own blog template because doing so would embolden the terrorists. So, here we are. I've abandoned Haloscan in favor of Blogger's commenting system. That means old comments are no longer visible. They still exist, however and could hypothetically reappear, but they probably won't. So it is now up to you, faithful (beyond reason) reader to fill these new comment boxes with witty and insightful... um, comments.

What the hell happened to my template?

This is why I'm hot.

I hereby declare today Alan Johnston day at alpha charlie bravo.

Just Like the Fambly Cat

I was having a conversation the other day, when the topic of the cartoon Thundercats came up. I was hoping to find some episodes or clips, but I found this instead:

The Sound of Drums

"He's fire and ice and rage.
He's like the night and the storm in the heart of the sun.
He's ancient and forever.
He burns at the center of time and he can see the turn of the universe."

Someone Else's Song

I've never eaten at an Outback Steakhouse, but I suddenly find even the idea of doing so somewhat creepy. Perhaps you've seen this ad for the restaurant chain:



A harmless thirty second ad right? Not quite. If you're not familiar with the song used in the ad, it's a re-recording of a song called "Wraith Pinned to the Mist and Other Games" by Of Montreal. This is a song that I like. But, it's a strange song that should not be associated in any way with food. Especially considering some of the imagery in the video:



Maybe what they're trying to say is that Outback Steakhouse is the place to go when you want to "have bizarre celebrations" or "pretend you don't exist."

One Hundred Years

So yeah, I guess now in lieu of actual content I use Youtube. You probably won't even find this funny, unless you're British. Nevertheless, in honor of Tony Blair's last day as Prime Minister, I present the following. If Tony Blair actually could turn himself into David Tennant, he could be PM for the next 100 years.

7 Stars

alpha charlie bravo presents the stars (well, seven of them anyway) of slow pitch rec league softball: *link*

Who's your Daddy?

Human Nature

I've tried to come up with a justification for posting these, but ultimately it's just a fanwank. I love the endings.

All The President's Men

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Wolf at the Door

I have, in these past five years, considered Paul Wolfowitz to be my mortal enemy. If I were a superhero (and how do you know I'm not) he might be considered my greatest nemesis. However, in light of information that is new to me, I am officially retracting my invocation of the Thaksin Shinawatra rule and my public call for Wolfowitz's resignation from the World Bank.

The White House has made a consistent practice of supporting their favorites in spite of overwhelming evidence of incompetence and/or corruption. That category includes Paul Wolfowitz. Nevertheless, it now seems to me that a number of World Bank staffers may simply be out to get him; probably with good reason, but that's a separate issue.

In honor of the return of Doctor Who to PBS, here's a look back at a strange event 20 years ago:

alpha charlie bravo is on the clock...

Alright.
I'm invoking the Thaksin Shinawatra Rule:¹
It's time to step down.



You too, Wolfie.

42

Letters In The Dirt

Hey kids! Who wants to play?
I've played softball the last couple of years on Sundays in Grant Park. Last year, I was subjected to a handful of untimely forfeits due to under participation of teammates. So I would like to put my own team together. So, if you haven't retired from recreational sports and are not otherwise physically unable to perform, come join my Championship Runner-up team in the making.

Things Fall Apart

Yesterday marked the 4th Anniversary of the fall of Baghdad. In light of this auspicious occasion, I hereby present: the best of alpha charlie bravo. Here's an excerpt from a posting on April 4, 2003:


My theory is: Saddam Hussein has clones.
And of course, each successive clone is a little dumber than the previous. One clone decided to attack Iran. Another thought April Glaspy said it was okay to invade Kuwait, and yet another was running this war.
What happened to the Circle of Death? The oil trenches dug around Baghdad and then set ablaze? What happened to the night vision goggles Rummy was so concerned about? What happened to flooding the Karbala gap, sabotaging oil wells, attacking Israel and making the Tigris and Euphrates rivers run red with the blood of infidels? What happened to the chemicals and the red line outside Baghdad? What happened to "I'm a crazy MoFo with nothing to lose and I'll fight to the death..." blah, blah, blah? At least make them put on a good show when the troupe comes to the big city. At this rate we'll be invading Syria by July and Iran by next January, and I'm not ready for the Pax Americana yet; I still have laundry to do.

How's this for a non-sequitor:
I can end global poverty in three generations.

I had my car towed on Friday night when my alternator died (which I've known for some time was imminent, I was just hoping I'd be able to roll it into the shop as it expired). I didn't take the time to remove any "valuables" from my vehicle. There are about a dozen CDs floating around the back seat of my car.

Apparently, auto mechanics don't like my taste in music.

However, someone did steal one of these out of my glove box:

I am thinking again about cutting my hair. Does anyone have an opinion on this?

Neon Bible

...is the number one album on iTunes. I'm so trendy.

Hey, remember when you were a kid and you'd spin around and make yourself dizzy? Now, in the age of the internet, all you have to do is watch this video:

I thought I would share with you this email I received from my brother who was recently deployed to Afghanistan. I've been assured that none of this is classified material. After all, I don't want to end up like Scooter Libby.


Hey Everyone,
Dropping my Monthly Afghan Deployment Gazette.

The enclosed pics are from our latest mission. We air assaulted into an area that has never seen Americans before. We got lots of reports of bad guys being in the area. So we loaded up with the big guns bringing over 80 people: U.S. and Afghan Army, artillery and I think someone had a kitchen sink. Me and my guy brought an extra 300 rounds of ammo on the trip. So we're thinking its gonna be like the OK Corral as soon as we step off the bird.

WELL....
It wasn't. It was probably the nicest village I have been in ever in this country. That's not saying much, but still. The locals were nice, even though we could tell they didn't really want us there and just wanted to go about their own business. So nothing bad happened except getting snowed in for a day. We had guys falling down the mountains into rivers. It was nuts. All of our MEDEVAC guys were from slipping on the mountain and not from enemy contact which was crazy to us. In fact we played baseball and wrestled and the guys talked me into doing the "Carlton Dance". Pretty chill for what was supposed to be the biggest and possibly most dangerous mission since earlier in the fall.

All in all it was good. Of course we found a couple of bad guys (there are some in every village) but it was peaceful for the most part

Hope you all like the pics,
Q

The Mind of the Metropolitan returns, featuring a lengthy interview with Seymour Hersh. So, if you've got an hour to kill, click on over.

It Covers the Hillsides

There have been times when I wish some outsider could observe my work day. It is difficult for me to verbally convey the processes, tasks, decisions involved, and the intense pace of it all. Yesterday was not one of those times. Due to the inclement weather, there wasn't much work. Accordingly, I really had nothing to do. In fact, the most interesting part of my day was the commute in which I played a rousing game of: "Hey, there's a red light! Let's see if I can stop!"

Woke Up In A Strange Place

Sometime between Sunday night and Monday morning, my vehicle became relieved of a hubcap. I don't know when or how this occurred, but it is yet another disruption to my vainglory.

Also, I awoke in a bathtub full of ice and was missing a kidney.

Ran

I know you are waiting with baited breath for more selections from my "best of 2006." But for now, please enjoy the greatest battle scene in the history of cinema.

Super Collider

I haven't turned on my Tv in a week.
Is something significant happening today?

The Roots
Game Theory



Long Time
Clock With No Hands


The Weepies
Say I Am You



Take It From Me
Gotta Have You

Sufjan Stevens
The Avalanche



The Avalanche
The Henney Buggy Band
Dear Mr. Supercomputer


Mission of Burma
The Obliterati



Spider's Web
Is This Where?

Sing

I find myself unable to settle on a ranked order for my aforementioned "Best albums of 2006" list. So instead, I'm just going to randomly highlight some of those achievements as I'm able to get stuff uploaded. Thanks for your suggestions, I mostly ignored them. But, you may notice some agreement in one or two instances anyway.

Tapes 'N Tapes
The Loon



Just Drums
Cowbell
Insistor


Neko Case
Fox Confessor Brings the Flood



Hold On, Hold On
Maybe Sparrow

The Union Forever

All right, kids. It's State of the Union time!

THE PRESIDENT: Thank you very much. And tonight, I have a high privilege and distinct honor of my own -- as the first President to begin the State of the Union message with these words: Madam Speaker.(Applause.)

I guess you've never seen Tip O'Neill in a dress.

Some in this chamber are new to the House and the Senate -- and I congratulate the Democrat majority. (Applause.) Congress has changed, but not our responsibilities.

That's right. It's still the responsibility of Congress to rubber stamp any policy the President endeavors to make.

...We're all held to the same standards, [sic] and called to serve the same good purposes: To extend this nation's prosperity; to spend the people's money wisely;

Wisely? Since when?

...to solve problems, not leave them to future generations;

[Cough]Global warming. [Cough]National debt.

...to guard America against all evil;

If that includes Oprah, I'm on board.

and to keep faith with those we have sent forth to defend us.

You mean like the 3,060 men and women we sent to Iraq to die under false pretenses?

(Applause.)

This economy is on the move...

Just make up your own joke here, I'm not a cheap shot artist.
Wait, yes I am.

Together, we can restrain the spending appetite of the federal government, and we can balance the federal budget. (Applause.)

Apparently, the President's New Year's resolution is to put the government on a diet.

A future of hope and opportunity requires that all our citizens have affordable and available health care. (Applause.)

Good call.

...Private health insurance is the best way to meet their needs. But many Americans cannot afford a health insurance policy.

That's some outside the box thinking, right there. My conventional brain thought that if people couldn't afford private health insurance, then it couldn't meet their needs. I guess that's why I'm not the President.

We must continue changing the way America generates electric power, by even greater use of clean coal technology, solar and wind energy, and clean, safe nuclear power. (Applause.)

Pronounced: "noo-kew-lur" This is an important distinction as nuclear technology can be dangerous and produces radioactive waste. There are no known problems with noo-kew-lur technology.

I Want To Believe

Ego Tripping at the Gates Hell

Do you know how I know Oprah is evil?

Because when she does something good, she does it in such a megalomaniacal way that it reveals the true nature of her evil.