A brief list of people who need to go away:

Hillary Clinton:


Look lady, I'm sorry your coronation got hijacked by a better candidate. But it's time to stop throwing the plumbing fixtures and move on with your life. You have, remarkably, made the substantial portion of the population that already didn't like you achieve new, previously unimagined levels of loathing. ...And take your husband with you.

Robert Mugabe:


You vile, murderous, octogenarian despot. The enmity in my heart for you is so deep and profound that a portion of my capacity to love humanity is destroyed at the mere mention of your sickeningly continued existence. DIAF.

Juan Uribe:


I am convinced that whenever your swung bat collides with a pitched ball, such an event is a result of a startling coincidence rather than an intentional act. Every day that you are permitted to don a White Sox uniform, Nellie Fox rotates 45 degrees in his hallowed grave.