Well, I don't know what went wrong. I still don't understand how the College of Cardinals chose Benedict the One Six over me, alphaCardinalcharliebravo. I submitted my papplication in a timely fashion and I even wrote the cover letter in Latin.

Now what? I've been weighing my options.
I could try to position myself as a doctrinal Antipope in the mold of Hippolytus. But, that's a clear path to excommunication.

My other option is to become ordained in the Universal Life Church and take on a special religious title. They don't offer Pope, so I'm leaning towards Universal Philosopher of Absolute Reality.