alpha charlie bravo

2011-12-29T22:54:00.003-06:00

3 things:

1. Calendars are arbitrary.

2. You should check out this blog: http://ampersandseven.blogspot.com/
It's the project of an NU Alum and former student theater castmate of mine.
There is a number for every day in the year.

3: I discovered this a few months ago: it's from a post I wrote about the economy in June 2003. Make of it what you will:

...I'm concerned that the deficits incurred by the [Bush tax] cuts will have terrible consequences for the economy in the long run.

I think this business of trying to stimulate job creation by cutting the taxes of investors is nonsense when it could be done more directly by putting money in the hands of those with the least disposable income, which would immediately increase demand for goods and services. Even though consumer spending has remained fairly steady, in the long run our economic health will depend not on the value of the Dow, but on our capacity for consumption.

The deficit will likely lead to cuts in government spending, which is not, prima facie, a bad thing except that the federal government has taken on certain fiscal obligations toward individuals and the states. The country relies on federal money for education, law enforcement and social welfare programs. These obligations won't disappear as easily as the funding for them, which will leave state and local governments, reeling from deficits of their own, to try to tackle the burden of these obligations. Many states may have to raise taxes to handle these responsibilities or else abdicate them altogether. If it is the intention of the Bush administration to reduce the size of the government, it should be done through program cuts, not by shackling the government to debts.

2011-12-21T23:55:00.002-06:00

Hey all you people with various music lists! I refuse to scroll through a dozen youtube links, so please make me a CD that I can take around with me and pilfer songs from. Thank you. Also, if anyone would like me to make a CD, I'd be happy to do so.

2011-12-11T00:54:00.003-06:00

Hi there! I got a new microphone a while ago and I've been meaning to get back into the podcasting game. I even made a short podcast a month ago about Herman Cain. (Hey, remember that guy? That was crazy, huh?) So anyway, I made an Album of the Year podcast. It's over on my Tumblr. Here's a link.
The other podcast is posted there too, but not much else. Maybe when I get some free time I'll make more. See you later!

More Than Meets the Eye

2011-07-06T01:14:00.000-05:00

The opening of Michael Bay's latest Transformers movie provides an excuse for me to watch the best Transformers movie of them all: the 1986 animated feature. I can say without equivocation that I was never more excited for anything than I was to see this movie when it finally arrived in theaters. I was not disappointed. Just look at that cast! Audiences had waited for so long to hear Orson Welles paired with Judd Nelson! I own this version on DVD and if you have never seen it, I can assure you this one surpasses the Bay movies in plot and performance.

2011-06-15T11:39:00.002-05:00

Let's do it again!
Things I learned from Fox News (specifically, from Fox News contributor Stuart Varney):

September 2010
The rich pay too much in taxes. It's not moral.

June 2011
The poor don't pay enough taxes. The EIC is "corrupt," "a scandal," "a welfare scheme."

2011-06-07T00:14:00.005-05:00

alpha charlie bravo presents:
The Twitter After Dark Edition of:
The Invocation of the Thaksin Shiniwatra Rule™
for:

U.S. Representative Anthony Weiner

Between Sarah Palin's tweets and this guy's crotch shots, I'm beginning to think that social media will bring about the downfall of civilization. For the last few minutes I've been trying to formulate some rules for public figures using social media, but none of them capture this situation. I think the one rule that needs to be followed at all times is, "Don't do (or say) stupid shit." But if you do, don't lie about it.

2011-04-20T11:47:00.003-05:00

alpha charlie bravo once again presents:

Things I learned on Fox News!

There are so many insights in this 4 1/2 minute clip from today's edition of Fox and Friends that I need to make a bulleted list to tell you about them.

You can't talk about big government subsidies without mentioning subsidies to NPR and Planned Parenthood. The money those non-profit organizations receive from taxpayers should be as much a part of the budget conversation as subsidies to the oil industry as this chart clearly shows:

The move from a "defined benefit" plan to a "defined contribution" plan is great for everybody! Anyone who has ever worked for an employer that has escalated the amount they are required to contribute to a health care plan can tell you how pleased they are to see their purchasing power decrease so that their employer can improve its profit margin. Government should replicate this.

The dude with the white goatee has played benefit concerts all over the world. I've never heard of him. Maybe that's because I only listen to liberal country music.

According to country goatee dude, Exxon has only an 8% profit margin. I guess that means we should look after them. After all, ExxonMobil only made $30 billion last year. Grandma can pay for her own hip.

2011-04-20T10:53:00.003-05:00

I'm pretty sure I had an anecdote I was going to share with you, but I can't remember what it was. So, instead I'll just leave this here:

2011-04-13T23:47:00.004-05:00

For no particular reason, here are two more music related items:

1. I didn't make a "Song of the Year" podcast last year, but if I had you would have heard this song as the victor:

2. This album, along with "Civilian," is an early contender for 2011 Album of the Year:
(Note: I may have already subjected some of you to this song via Twitter.)

2011-04-13T00:35:00.002-05:00

alpha charlie bravo also presents:

False assumptions from the Heritage Foundation.

There's been a lot of discussion about Paul Ryan's reckless boondoggle of a budget proposal and that it apparently relies on magical projections from the Heritage Foundation. (Who don't exactly have the best track record when it comes to economic predictions. Q.E.D.)

So my interest was piqued when I stumbled upon some of the easy-to-read and accessible graphs on their website. This graph in particular caught my eye:
Federal Spending Increased Faster Than Median Income

The graph clearly shows what it claims to show. I'll assume the figures are correct. But what about the assumption made in the explanatory paragraph?

"When federal spending grows faster than people’s paychecks, the government’s burden on taxpayers becomes greater."

Oh, Heritage Foundation.
Didn't you forget something? You see that spike in government spending around 2002? That same year the now infamous Bush tax cuts went into effect. Which means that no one bore the burden of increased government spending through taxes. Which is why the deficit ballooned shortly thereafter. Let's look at another one of their graphs:

Current Tax Receipts Below Historical Average

If we had increased tax rates to make up for the decline in receipts and increases in spending between 2002 and 2010, then the assumptions of the first graph would be correct. But, we didn't. So, it appears to me that government spending has had no direct impact on the individual's tax burden. Am I incorrect?

2011-04-10T23:59:00.000-05:00

alpha charlie bravo presents:

Things I learned on Fox News.

I don't have cable, so I don't actually watch FNC. But I do get several doses of right wing propaganda daily by following the Media Matters website. Oh, the things I've learned. Like just yesterday, I learned that you can get a pap smear at Walgreens:

I also learned last week that in spite of the fact that Martin Luther King was in Memphis to support striking sanitation workers when he was assassinated, to say that he died fighting for labor rights is "hijacking [his] life and message."

And... I don't really know what to say about this one:

2011-04-05T00:07:00.002-05:00

Hi there!
I haven't done much with this space lately, so I thought I'd share some music with you. Again.

Here are my favorite albums from the first quarter of 2011:

1. Wye Oak - Civilian

2. Radiohead - King of Limbs

3. Iron & Wine - Kiss Each Other Clean

4. Lupe Fiasco - Lasers

5. The Decemberists - The King is Dead

Also, I'm excited about the following coming releases:

Low - C'mon
Gretchen Parlato - The Lost and Found
Alison Krauss + Union Station - Paper Airplane

2010-09-21T03:35:00.003-05:00

alpha charlie bravo presents a day in the life of Werner Herzog.

Werner begins his day as an ordinary motorist:

Where is he off to in such a hurry? Well, he's meeting a BBC reporter for an interview:

It's been an eventful day for Werner. Now it's time to have some dinner and a little conversation:

2010-08-23T00:39:00.002-05:00

Today's episode of "The Best of alpha charlie bravo" takes a look back at my thwarted attempt to sing the national anthem before a Chicago Rush game in 2004:

6.06.2004

2010-08-11T00:45:00.004-05:00

2 Things:

1. Who's coming to the Gary Railcats game on August 21? There may be a few tickets up for grabs.

2. Does anyone want to go to this with me?

My social calendar: let me show you it.
Actually, I think there was a third thing. I can't remember what it was though.

Ciao.

Do you believe in the American Dream?

2010-07-15T16:29:00.001-05:00

I wasn't sure what this question meant, so I went to Wikipedia and read the "American Dream" entry. There you will find this quote:

"The American Dream, that has lured tens of millions of all nations to our shores in the past century has not been a dream of material plenty, though that has doubtlessly counted heavily. It has been a dream of being able to grow to fullest development as a man and woman, unhampered by the barriers which had slowly been erected in the older civilizations, unrepressed by social orders which had developed for the benefit of classes rather than for the simple human being of any and every class."
-James Truslow Adams

I think that's a nice idea. Clearly, we have yet to achieve it. Race, gender and intergenerational wealth have played pivotal roles in restricting or enabling the opportunities of individuals throughout American history. Some of those restrictions have abated in contemporary society, but increasingly the interests of the individual is superseded by the interests of multi-national corporations. In short, there's a lot of work to do.

Ask me anything

2010-06-28T02:51:00.003-05:00

http://www.formspring.me/ShamsOfTabriz

Let's see what happens.

2010-06-22T02:58:00.003-05:00

One of the things that bothers me about this space being vacant is that the "Featured Album" tab over there hasn't changed in nearly six months. I think Owen Pallet has had quite enough face time. Since I haven't had the opportunity to feature most of the music I've been listening to in recent months, I thought I'd give you a taste here.

Artist: The Besnard Lakes
Song: Albatross
Album: The Besnard Lakes are the Roaring Night

The Besnard Lakes have great album titles. They also like to make big, sweeping epic songs. This is not one of those, however.

Artist: Tunng
Song: Hustle
Album: ...And Then We Saw Land

This album is... well, nice. Which is not what I was expecting from a Tunng album. Sam Genders left the band and apparently took all the dark imagery with him. Too bad.

Artist: Dessa
Song: Dixon's Girl
Album: A Badly Broken Code

I got a hold of this album after Sound Opinions repeatedly raved about it.

So, what are you listening to?

2010-02-03T01:11:00.003-06:00

Apparently, today is the birthday of alpha charlie bravo. It was launched officially on February 3, 2003. I have no meaning to ascribe to this fact. However, feel free to take a look back at the first birthday celebratory extravaganza that was this post of: February 4, 2004. Hey, remember when I used to write?

2009 Album of the Year

2010-01-04T09:16:00.014-06:00

The Podcast
[Parental Advisory]

1. Animal Collective
    Merriweather Post Pavilion
2. KiD CuDi
    Man on the Moon: The End of Day
3. The Swell Season
    Strict Joy
4. Maxwell
    BLACKsummer'snight
5. The Decemberists
    The Hazards of Love
6. Passion Pit
    Manners
7. Amadou & Mariam
    Welcome To Mali
8. The Flaming Lips
    Embryonic
9. Jay-Z
    Blueprint 3
10. Mission of Burma
     The Sound, The Speed, The Light

Honorable Mention:
Califone, All My Friends Are Funeral Singers | The Dodos, Time to Die | Skyzoo, The Salvation

Note: Ultimately, I decided not to include The Dodos' 2008 album Visiter on my 2009 list, even though it may have been the best recording I heard this past year.

The Podcast Supplemental

2009-12-24T12:14:00.004-06:00

So, I finally figured out my Ten Best Albums, which means this collection of my favorite songs from the year is now complete and available as a double podcast for those of you with way too much free time.

Best of 2009 Part 1

1. Dear God
Monsters Of Folk

2. Violet Stars Happy Hunting!!!
Janelle Monae

3. My Love
The Bird and The Bee

4. Pearl's Dream
Bat For Lashes

5. The Neighbors
St. Vincent

6. These Are My Twisted Words
Radiohead

7. Study War
Moby

8. No You Girls
Franz Ferdinand

9. 1901
Phoenix

10. This Tornado Loves You
Neko Case

11. Quiet Dog
Mos Def

12. The Fixer
Pearl Jam

13. Islands
The xx

14. Burning
Vijay Kishore

15. Rootless Tree
Damien Rice

Best of 2009 Part 2

1. Black Hearted Love
Pj Harvey & John Parish

2. Fables
The Dodos

3. For What It's Worth
Skyzoo

4. Alice Marble Gray
Califone

5. Swing
Zero 7

6. Sick Muse
Metric

7. Work
Hockey

8. Two Doves
Dirty Projectors

9. The Petrified Forest
The Handsome Family

If You Would Come Back Home
William Fitzsimmons
(Accidentally omitted. YouTube Link)

10. Ghost of My Old Dog
Jason Lytle

11. Two Weeks
Grizzly Bear

12. Sky Cake
Patton Oswalt

13. Black River Killer
Blitzen Trapper

14. L'Autre
DJ Spooky

Christmas Shoes

2009-12-23T13:24:00.001-06:00

Journey's End

2009-12-20T02:42:00.003-06:00

I once tried to share my geek-filled passion for Doctor Who with someone who took no interest in my obvious attempt at indoctrination. The question was posed to me, "Why do you watch this show?" I replied that my interest in the show was "tied-up with my psychopathology," but I never provided an explication of this answer.

Steven Moffat, the excellent writer who is taking over as executive producer of Doctor Who for Series 5, said in a recent interview that the audience doesn't identify with the title character. The Doctor, Moffat said, is too strange, too alien for the audience to relate to. They relate, he insists, to the human companion who briefly forsakes ordinary life to have adventures in time and space. Not me. I have always, since I was a child, identified directly with The Doctor. He is the hero I wanted to be in my ~~childhood~~ fantasies. The Doctor saves the world, protects his friends and has fun doing it.

But it is more than that. The Doctor is more like me (or perhaps, more like the person I wanted to be) than any person I had encountered in life. He is different and eccentric to the point of being strange. He has difficulty relating to the behavior and attitudes of his human companions. His intelligence is his best and often, his only weapon. He endeavors to do always what is right, even though he sometimes gets it wrong. He is also flawed. The First Doctor was cantankerous, the Second impatient, the Third pompous, the Fourth aloof, the Fifth petulant, the Sixth had a temper, and the Seventh was conniving.

The New Series has revealed even greater complexities in the character. We already expected that he would always reject the notion of an ordinary life. He will never marry, or have a family, or live in a house; The Doctor will always keep traveling. But we discover now that The Doctor travels not just for the fun and adventure, but because he can't face his own past; he is always running away from himself.

The Doctor's interminable journey must be undertaken alone. Although, a friend may come along for part of the ride, ultimately he will end up on his own. This is illustrated best, if somewhat heavy handedly, by the final scene of the Series 4 finale "Journey's End." The Doctor's friends assemble to help him save the universe. They succeed, of course, and The Doctor takes them home so that they can all resume their normal lives. Again, he is left on his own. As he is about to depart he is asked, "What about you? Who have you got? What about all those friends of yours?" The Doctor pauses amid a clichéd downpour of rain to answer, "They've all got someone else."

He is strange, yet wonderful; loved, and yet alone. And The Doctor, being who he is, has, since I first discovered him as a child, made it alright for me to be who I am. Now, if only I could save the world...

2009-12-19T09:29:00.002-06:00

Yeah, so... um I guess I owe you a few blog posts.

-I've had one about Obama and the Nobel Peace Prize floating around in my head since it was announced it would be awarded to him. Maybe I'll write that eventually.
-There's a Doctor Who post I need to get out soon. (I can see you trembling with anticipation.)
-And there's the Album of the Year podcast to produce and post whenever I figure out exactly what's going to be on it.

All of these could come as early as tomorrow or as late as never.

2009-11-26T07:36:00.004-06:00

It really annoys me that during the holiday season it seems I am expected to "Merry Christmas" everyone I encounter. Now, I have observed I am obligated to also issue "Happy Thanksgivings" hither and yon. Where does it end? Should there be "Happy Birthdays" to everyone in the world? I reject this. You don't have to "enjoy the holiday" or even acknowledge it at all. Your disposition on the matter is certainly not influenced by any of my wishes on your behalf. So do whatever you want. Be ecstatic or ordinary, it makes no difference to me; I'm happy if you're happy.
Thank you and have a day.

Injury Report:

2009-11-23T05:37:00.002-06:00

alpha charlie bravo | Shoulder | Probable

(Washing dishes isn't supposed to hurt, right?)

Too Soon?

2009-11-20T04:03:00.004-06:00

The 2009 Song of the Year ^miniPodcast
Time: 21:52

Featuring the final five nominees:

1. The Rake's Song
   The Decemberists

2. Stillness Is The Move
   Dirty Projectors

3. Empire State of Mind
    Jay-Z

4. One Wing
   Wilco

5. Anonanimal
   Andrew Bird

Monorail

2009-10-02T09:50:00.003-05:00

The fictional people of Springfield are well known to be rubes. Perhaps that is why they were so easily taken in by the slick presentation of Lyle Lanley. The townspeople, their hope-filled eyes gleaming, imagined that building the monorail would create jobs and put Springfield on the map as Lanley claims it did for towns like Brockway, Ogdenville and North Haverbrook. They sacrificed time, labor, opportunity cost and the city treasury to fulfill that novel dream. Of course, the monorail turned out to be a grift and the project a failure. But, even at its best the monorail was little more than a publicity stunt: a support to buttress the civic pride of Springfield's rubes.

The Olympics aren't much different. They're expensive, time consuming and fiscally draining. They're basically a multi-billion dollar, bloated photo-op for the host city. I love my city and its people, but we've exhibited time and again a capacity for being rubes with a depressed sense of civic pride. Chicago did not need the Olympics. Perhaps Beijing needed them to demonstrate that China is more than just smog and political repression. Rio can show what is has to offer besides scantily clad women, violence and homeless children.

Meanwhile, at home, we still need to improve our transportation infrastructure, build affordable housing and the city still has that new piece of lakefront property to develop. Now we should look forward and work up to our potential as a community. Not so that the world will come to Chicago, but for the world that is already here.

Society Must Be Defended

2009-08-23T02:45:00.003-05:00

I'd like to clear up an important point that has arisen in the wake of the health care debate.
The reason a "public option" for health insurance is anathema to some opponents of the plan is because they recognize a fundamental truth about our country: namely, that we are not a society. It is a common misconception that the founding fathers formed this republic for the benefit of the commonwealth. On the contrary, our nation is simply a venue for the socioeconomic competition between individuals. It is organized primarily for the purpose of protecting the material and ideological sanctity of private property. Of course, there are various other rules and obligations such as the prohibition against murder or other deliberate injury not sanctioned by the state, but the values of private property are sacrosanct.

In light of this reality, we can dispense with the notion that any citizen is entitled to goods, commodities, or services simply by the fact of citizenship. No government can provide and no individual is entitled to that which can be acquired otherwise by means of competition in the marketplace. To do so would be to interfere with the competition for resources between individuals that is the function and purpose of the nation. Further, such intervention typically occurs in favor of those individuals who have failed to become or remain competitive within the marketplace. This kind of policy making is antithetical to the concept of competitive fairness.

There are those who will argue that because 87% of the nation's wealth is possessed by only 25% of the population,¹ many Americans face a kind of competitive disadvantage from the outset of their existence. This argument, however, is immaterial. After all, there are no rules in sports designed to render the most gifted athlete less dominant in competition by taking away the natural advantages of speed and agility. Instead, the less gifted athlete must succeed at overcoming his disadvantages or else leave the competitive world behind.

It follows then, that health care is not a right. It, like all other commodities, is the spoil of competition for those who succeed in the marketplace. It is not an entitlement to be provided at the expense of the private property of the victors to those individuals who fail to succeed in the socioeconomic competition for which we are organized as a nation. Ultimately, we did not form this Union so that we could take care of each other; we formed it so that we could compete against each other.

2009-07-30T05:03:00.006-05:00

alpha charlie bravo, for no discernible purpose, presents:
The Five Creepiest Movies of All Time (as far as I'm aware).

5. Tideland
Okay, so there's this 10 year old girl named Jeliza-Rose who lives in an abandoned farm house with the corpse of her recently deceased father. Her only companions are her imagination and the doll heads (yes, only the heads) she talks to. That is, until she meets and develops a friendship with a mentally handicapped man who likes to blow things up and his hyper-religious aunt who likes to keep a corpse or two around the house herself. Brought to you by the director of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Enjoy.

4. Crumb
You might well expect this documentary about the cartoonist R. Crumb to be kind of creepy given the sort of things that spring from the mind and pen of its subject. But, what really makes this movie creepy is when you meet R. Crumb's family and discover that he's the normal one.

3. Gummo
Cinematic wunderkind Harmony Korine, who wrote the movie Kids at the age of seventeen, gives us in his directorial debut a plot-less cavalcade of freaks; some played by actors and some played by townies, which makes it all the more creepy. The boys in the town spend their days spitting off the overpass or killing stray cats. Werner Herzog cavorts in his underwear. There's a gay midget and Chloe Sevigny. Need I say more?

2. Mulholland Dr.
David Lynch originally made this as a Tv pilot, but when it was rejected he re-cut it into a feature film. It's filled with creepy scenes. For example: this one; made creepier by the fact that the scene has nothing to do with the plot (whatever the plot is) and features two characters that do not appear anywhere else in the movie. But don't watch that scene, because if you do you won't forgive me in time to watch this one. It's the final scene of the movie and sums things up nicely with a rousing: Wtf?

1. Crash
No, not that Crash. This is the David Cronenberg movie about people who are sexually aroused by car accidents (oh, yes). I believe I have mentioned before that this movie features the single creepiest performance ever recorded on film. But, it's not just Elias Koteas that puts Crash atop this list. Watch this movie, but make sure you have enough soap to take 3 or 4 showers afterward.

2009-07-10T00:46:00.008-05:00

If you've got 40 minutes of your life you don't know what to do with and you want to listen to some music you may not have heard before, I've got a little podcast that I'm calling:

Buried Treasures

Yeah, I know: original

It's various stuff from various times in modern history. Various. There's nothing "urban" here. Take that as you will. I'm considering a separate "urban" buried treasures podcast, but for now, it is what it is.

Editor's Note: Obviously, when referring to the Billy Bragg & Wilco albums, I meant to say Mermaid Avenue and Mermaid Avenue Vol. II. Also, I'd like to apologize to Joanna Newsom for referring to her as a "harp playing elf." I'm not sure exactly whether she's an elf or a sprite or a faerie, but I'm pretty sure they're all part of the same genus.

Playlist:

1. Get Out Get Out Get Out
Jason Molina

2. Snakes and Ladders
Basia Bulat

3. G.P.T.
Martha Wainwright

4. Walt Whitman's Niece
Billy Bragg & Wilco

5. At The Hop
Devendra Banhart

6. Sprout and the Bean
Joanna Newsom

7. Melt Your Heart
Jenny Lewis With The Watson Twins

8. Black Cab
Jens Lekman

9. When Your Mind's Made Up
Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova

10.What You Want
John Butler Trio

2009-07-08T06:27:00.002-05:00

I haven't been exposed to the media fixation with Michael Jackson since his death; I seem to turn on my television only for the purpose of watching The Simpsons or a baseball game.

But it has recently occurred to me that what I remember most about Michael Jackson is that he was really, really, really famous. I doubt that anyone born after Thriller or more specifically, his legendary performance on the Grammys can truly comprehend the cultural phenomenon that was Michael Jackson at the height of his popularity. I mean, people actually purchased and wore those crazy zipper jackets from the "Beat It" video. However, his incredible fame and subsequent infamy diverts our attention away from making the one indispensable judgment: namely, the impact and significance of his art.

To be frank, I haven't given much thought to this question. However, I can offer two examples that suggest Michael Jackson had an impact on music that persists. The following songs by contemporary artists undoubtedly owe something to his artistic legacy.

Example 1

Example 2

2009-06-25T04:48:00.001-05:00

alpha charlie bravo presents:
Strange things I've seen on the internet

Episode 2:
Food Party

2009-06-19T08:50:00.003-05:00

alpha charlie bravo presents:
Strange things I've seen on the internet

Episode 1:
Green Porno

2009-06-11T04:10:00.004-05:00

There isn't much time left, so I've decided to provide the coveted acb bump, which does not exist, to one candidate in the Iranian presidential elections. Now, everybody knows that Mohammad Khatami is my guy, but he dropped out of the race. So, my endorsement goes where Khatami's goes.

alpha charlie bravo
Endorses for President of the Islamic Republic of Iran:

Mir-Hossein Mousavi

In spite of the fact that he's got kind of an Aerosmith thing going on with the scarf around the microphone.

2009-06-09T13:00:00.000-05:00

Hey kids, it's time for another glimpse into my imaginary political career. Before Jesse Jackson Jr. became the congressional representative for Illinois' 2nd District, the office was held by Mel Reynolds. Mel had a little problem in that he liked to touch underage girls. Mel went to prison. With the congressional seat vacant, I began to plot my own ascension to power. There were several problems with this idea, but my biggest barrier was a constitutional one: I was seventeen at the time.

Nevertheless, I began to plan my campaign strategy. I would take my message directly to the people; a megaphone and a soapbox would be my accoutrements. My cause célèbre? The drug war.

It was a plan destined to fail as poor urban neighborhoods are famously conservative when it comes to crime and other social issues. However, these same areas are disproportionately affected by the collection of ineffective laws and misguided policies that characterize our response to the problem of narcotics.

The shocking violence perpetrated by Mexican drug cartels near the border has brought the issue to light again. Earlier this year, the Secretary of State acknowledged that the U.S. shares "a co-responsibility" for the violence that is decimating Mexico¹.

Her statements however, do not go nearly far enough. Our drug control policies have given us more addicts, more criminals, more violence and more narcotics at higher prices. If I may, Sec. Clinton, I've prepared a sentence for you which will effectively sum up the situation:

Our four decades long policy of criminalization and interdiction² has been an unmitigated failure.

Brick

2009-06-08T13:14:00.002-05:00

You may not give a damn about what I'm watching through Netflix, but I didn't blog in the month of May, so I'm just going to throw everything against the wall...

Brick
At first, I didn't like it. The characters are not believable, the dialogue is preposterous, but then I reminded myself that it was a genre movie. It's a Film Noir. It has all the trappings one would expect from a noir: a dead girl, a hard-boiled detective, a femme fatale, twists, turns, angles and campy Dashiell Hammett style dialogue. It just happens to be set in a high school.

Wrong!

2009-06-07T19:33:00.001-05:00

IMG00088
Originally uploaded by alpha charlie bravo

And...

Also wrong.

2009-06-03T05:04:00.002-05:00

Yeah, so um... May; I don't know what happened. I was working on a post about the drug war and then the next thing I knew, it was June. So anyway, you may have noticed that I heart the BBC mini-series Jekyll. It has the greatest opening scene ever:

2009-04-24T01:03:00.003-05:00

alpha charlie bravo presents the first ever pre-emptive invocation of the Thaksin Shinawatra¹ rule for:

Jacob Zuma

I know you probably had your sights set on some good ol' fashioned African political corruption once you got the big office to go along with your already impressive resume. But come on, JZ; you and I both know you're not even going to make it through one full term without some kind of court battle. Why don't you just step aside now and let the ANC save some face. The party of Mandela deserves better.

2009-04-21T03:33:00.006-05:00

One evening, prior to the fin de siecle, I found myself at the Osco in Evanston with the purpose of acquiring various and sundry items that might offer some marginal benefit to my day to day existence. I was a student, that term being loosely used, at the time.

In the store, a beautiful young woman caught my eye. She met my gaze, smiled and approached. She said, hello and we began to engage in small talk. At this point, I realized that she knew me, or at least thought she did. But I had no idea who she was. I couldn't imagine how I could have possibly met someone of her pulchritude and subsequently forgotten to the extent that she did not seem in any way familiar.

I desperately attempted to conceal my ignorance in the course of conversing with her. I ended the encounter somewhat abruptly since I don't have much to say to someone I don't know. I left convinced that this had been a case of mistaken identity--that she had spoken to me falsely believing me to be some vaguely familiar acquaintance.

At the time I was serving as Assistant Director for that year's Shakespeare at the Rock production, Twelfth Night. There was a rehearsal that I attended the evening following my mysterious encounter with the unknown beauty. I walked into the room and there she was. She was Olivia; that's how she knew me. The night before I saw her in Osco, I was probably sitting just a few feet away from her at the "read through" and yet I could not add the sums together when the circumstances required. Isn't it strange how one can see someone he knows and yet not see her at all?

2009-04-12T09:48:00.002-05:00

I feel I would be remiss if I didn't post the trailer for the Doctor Who Easter Special. I realize that's an irrational feeling and should not necessarily influence my behavior, but... (Why am I being so introspective about this?)

Snack Time: Anytime

2009-04-07T01:54:00.003-05:00

Stella D'oro Breakfast Treats
Originally uploaded by alpha charlie bravo

I was not aware that this product was still on the market. However, while I was perusing the cookie aisle in the grocery store last night, I came across an entire display for Stella D'oro Breakfast Treats. Here you can see the photographic evidence.

And here you can see why this simple product amuses me:
(Not safe for work, school or children)

My Favorite Things

2009-04-02T01:30:00.003-05:00

A brief assortment of random lists:

Favorite Ang Lee Movies

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

The Ice Storm

Brokeback Mountain

Lust, Caution

Hulk

Favorite European-born NBA Players

Drazen Petrovich

Dirk Nowitzki

Toni Kukoc

Arvydas Sabonis

Detlef Schrempf

Favorite Contemporary Lyricists

Jeff Tweedy - Wilco

Sam Beam - Iron and Wine

Black Thought - The Roots

Alan Sparhawk - Low

Undecided - open to suggestions

2009-04-01T09:55:00.003-05:00

In the midst of the celebration of deception that occurs annually at this arbitrary point on the calendar, I often think of the story of Gimpel the Fool.

"It is written, better to be a fool all your days than for one hour to be evil."

2009-03-19T09:42:00.003-05:00

The Best of alpha charlie bravo presents a fawning ode to the NCAA Men's Basketball tournament:

Love and Basketball
3.18.2004

Dancer In The Dark

2009-03-12T14:39:00.002-05:00

alpha charlie bravo™ would like to apologize to the following individuals for having been subjected at one time or another to the unfortunate circumstance of being my dance partner.

Chanté
I think it was in 7th grade when we were paired together for a dance that was to be performed at an assembly for our parents. I felt terribly sorry for the poor girl and her rotten luck.

My Mom
There was an obligatory Mother/Son dance in High School the highlight of which was a classmate who tore up the floor as he polka danced around the gym with his mother. Needless to say, we got served.

Laura
She was my dance partner in Wisconsin Death Trip. Not only was the girl subjected on more than one occasion to a voracious foot stomping, I also accidentally grabbed her boob during a rehearsal.

Jim
I passed on the opportunity to dance with him at his own wedding, but we did share a tender moment during the Urban Therapy wedding reception.

Cleo
Really, it's her own fault. I was doing just fine seated in my chair at the Nancerus wedding reception, but she insisted. She didn't really need a partner anyway. She could have danced the night away on her own.

Real Talk

2009-03-05T04:45:00.005-06:00

Excerpt from an actual conversation:

Interlocutor: I have a favor to ask you.

acb: Does it involve soy milk?

Interlocutor: Yes.

This excerpt from an actual conversation has been brought to you by:
Silk Soymilk: Just one sip of smooth, creamy Silk could get you hooked for life. Available in a variety of scrumptious flavors and convenient sizes.

Extra pauperes nulla salus

2009-03-02T06:31:00.006-06:00

You may, but probably will not recall this teasing blog post. Well, I figured I might as well reveal my plan so that it is recorded here for posterity. And by posterity, I mean my own boundless ego.

In order for the plan to be implemented there are some prerequisites. First, political stability, transparency and the rule of law: you've got to have a government with its head on straight. Second, environmental stability. The potential impact of climate change on the developing world could severely impede any attempt to implement this plan.

Also, it should be noted that this is a plan for ending poverty in the developing world. It does not specifically address the problems of poverty within wealthy societies north of the equator such as ours. Many of the following steps will surely be considered controversial, if not altogether radical. However, this is not an attempt to restructure the global economy. Instead, I want to use what the global economy already does well in order to accomplish a specific goal.

1. Debt Forgiveness
This first step will liberate governments from the onerous burdens of debt service so that they will be able to allocate resources toward social spending. One argument against debt relief and forgiveness is that it creates a moral hazard causing international investment to become disincentivized. In my view, politically, we have to say we're going to hit the reset button and just start the game over.

2. Health Care
Disease and poor nutrition are hidden causes of economic instability. My primary focus here is to substantially reduce the number of deaths from treatable and preventable diseases.

3. Food Sovereignty
OK, so maybe I'm restructuring the global economy a little bit.
The ultimate goal here is to have an economy that could, hypothetically, function as a closed system. Ideally, an economy trades for prosperity; not survival. Any nation that allocates a majority of its agricultural resources toward growing cash crops while importing the staples on which its people subsist is on the wrong side of the equation.

4. Living Wage
Let's say Nike, whose shoes are made in Indonesia is required to increase pay by $5 a day for each employee. Phil Knight has two options: he could pass the entire increased labor cost onto the consumer in the developed world (inflation) or he could take a smaller profit margin. Either scenario works for me, because in the long run, by paying a living wage, Phil is creating a new market for his products. That new market may eventually suck up the lost demand from his price increase or make up the difference in profits by expanding his market share.
It's essential that this policy be applied universally across the developing world in order to avert a "race to the bottom" with respect to labor costs.

5. Education for Girls
This would probably be the least controversial aspect of the plan in "the West," but it's my secret ingredient. Nothing I've written above matters if you can't raise the standard of living of the girls who are of school age now. Living standards throughout the world are matrilineal. Even in our own society, the leading cause of poverty among women and children is divorce. Girls grow up to be women who are heads of households all over the world. Girls living in poverty who grow up to be women living in poverty make a society in poverty. But educate a girl, give her a future and she will carry your next generation into prosperity.

I figure it would take about 80 years to eradicate global poverty. Of course, there are any number of potential complications along the way: flood, famine, corruption, war. But significant improvements in the lowest standards of living should be easily measurable within 10 years. In 20 years, there would be noticeable reductions in the number of people living in poverty.

This seems so simple it must mean, I am a brilliant visionary, or I am hopelessly naive, or that we are so far from having the will to accomplish this that I have essentially written an eschatological fantasy.

2009-02-27T09:24:00.007-06:00

And now,
in a sudden fit of narcissism, alpha charlie bravo presents:

True Student Theater Stories

When I arrived as a freshman at North Occidental, I confidently presumed that with one successful high school production of Godspell under my belt (in which I played the role of Jesus, thank you very much) I would continue my performing career in college, in spite of the fact that it was not my field of study.

I immediately began to audition for every student produced show in existence expecting that if I cast a wide enough net, I would ensnare a leading role. I auditioned for a student written original play called (title redacted due to extreme googlebility). It was a sci-fi story (probably inspired by the original Solaris movie with a touch of 2001: A Space Odyssey) that featured an android as a central character, a masturbation scene and a bell-kicking leprechaun.

There were 4 male roles and 1 female. I was auditioning for the male roles. I performed a ten minute monologue because that was the time allotted for the audition. Later, I learned that no one else had done a monologue even approaching that length, which was one of the reasons the director, Kelly, chose to cast me.

Callbacks were typically held on Sundays with casting decisions made that night. A folder containing the list of names to be cast in the upcoming production was placed in a bin at Norris. I endured several anxious Sunday nights that year waiting to get a glimpse of a manila folder that may or may not have my name printed on the page inside.

It was common for students to audition for multiple productions, so anyone who was cast was expected to place his initials alongside his name if he intended to accept the assigned role. When I opened that folder, I suppose I expected to see my name associated with one of the two male leads; either the astronaut or the android. It wasn't. I was to be Station J2; one of two space station operators who converse with the lead, but only appear on a video screen.

I was dejected. I thought about all the auditions I had been on thus far; auditions for bigger productions with better parts. Accepting a smaller role was not part of my grand design. I hesitated. I stared at the folder. My right arm lifted slowly and then made a smooth motion that caused the writing implement in my hand to leave initials on the page. It wasn't the part I had wanted, but I accepted the role.

In retrospect, it all seems quite silly. Could I, if provided the opportunity, have effectively performed the role of astronaut or android? Probably. But the director chose the cast she wanted; the cast that would best fulfill her artistic vision. That artistic vision included me, playing the part of Station J2 appearing on a video screen (just after the masturbation scene) to berate the astronaut as he slowly slipped into madness.

2009-02-25T00:42:00.003-06:00

I'm currently watching the streaming broadcast of the President's address to the Joint Session of Congress. What you miss on the network broadcasts, is all the pomp, circumstance, standing around, glad handing, milling about and half-hearted applause that accompanies the introduction and procession of people who are not the President.

I wonder if I'm the only person who watches the parade of Supreme Court Justices and passes judgement on each individually by saying, "fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, you're awesome, fuck you..." and so on.

Jesse Jackson Jr. is the Congressman for my district. I'm not really sure what J.J. Jr. does for a living, but his skill at finding a perching spot on the aisle within view of the cameras at every joint session, is something to be admired. And by admired, I mean scoffed at. Also, is it really necessary to kiss Hillary Clinton on the cheek simply because she, ostensibly, has a vagina? Wouldn't a handshake suffice?

As the President begins his speech, the camera is deftly focused to include Nancy Pelosi's bosom in the frame. What follows should not be a controversial statement: Nancy Pelosi is not a MILF.

Every day I am impressed by this president. Last night's speech was ambitious, yes. But it is ambitious in the service of pragmatism. He is ambitious because he understands what must be accomplished and has set out to do what needs to be done even though it runs counter to the inertial forces of our institutions. Frankly, he reminds me of me if I were president. I may not agree with all the technocratic details of every policy proposal, but I recognize that this president, unlike any other I can recall, has the vision to see the course correction we must take in order to continue to prosper as a nation.

Also, apparently, nobody messes with Joe.

2009-02-16T08:03:00.006-06:00

Belatedly:

2008 Album of the Year Podcast
[Parental Advisory]

Run Time: 44:54

Fair Ain't Fair
Tim Fite

Dear, Science
TV On The Radio

Feel Good Ghosts
Cloud Cult

Twelve Angry Months
Local H

Leave It All Behind
The Foreign Exchange

Gossip In The Grain
Ray LaMontagne

808s & Heartbreak
Kanye West

The Way I See It
Raphael Saadiq

When Life Gives You Lemons...
Atmosphere

Great Vengeance and Furious Fire
The Heavy

See You In My Nightmares

2009-02-06T01:24:00.002-06:00

Many of you have seen this article: Cheney warns of new attacks in which the former Vice President asserts that:

Protecting the country’s security is “a tough, mean, dirty, nasty business. These are evil people. And we’re not going to win this fight by turning the other cheek.”

First, it reminded me of this video. Poignant, poignant.

Then, I began to wonder WTF is really up with Cheney (besides the obvious mephistophelean villainy, of course)? I remembered reading this article a couple of years ago which may shed some light on the inner-workings of the Cheney psyche.

From the article: Republicans have more Nightmares than Democrats

Scenario 1
The dreams of the people on the political right reveal them to be insecure, anxious, conflict-ridden, and emotionally repressed. When they are not terrified of imaginary threats they cling to the comforts of the status quo. They seek a kind of power through their political views that they lack within their deeper selves.

By contrast, the dreams of people on the political left show them to be creative, progressive, and imaginative. They are confident in their abilities and willing to think beyond the boundaries of the present to envision new possibilities for the future. (Bulkeley, 2001)

But, there's another possible interpretation of these findings:

Scenario 2
The dreams of people on the political right reveal them to be highly attuned to the actual dangers and threats of the waking world. These people are realistic, grounded, honest about the frailties of human nature in the face of danger, and appreciative of the good things in present-day life.

By contrast, the dreams of people on the political left show them to be irrational, naïve, utopian, and deluded by their own fantasies. These people are out of touch with the real world, and they wish for powers they do not have in actuality. (Bulkeley, 2001)

In my view, Cheney fits best into Scenario 1; although he would certainly argue that Scenario 2 most accurately represents reality.

2009-01-19T02:48:00.003-06:00

2008-Song-of-the-Year

Time:
52:10

Time's Fool

2009-01-10T13:38:00.007-06:00

Just to recap:

2007 Song of the Year: Devastation - The Besnard Lakes

2007 Album of the Year: Drums and Guns - Low

2008 Podcasts coming... eventually.

For now, here is the podcast featuring selections from albums that I should have considered for the 2007 list, but overlooked.

2007 Most Overlooked Albums
Run Time: 24:50

Featuring:
1. The Everybodyfields Nothing is Okay
2. Iron & Wine The Shepherd's Dog
3. Tunng Good Arrows
4. Yeasayer All Hour Cymbals
5. Steve Earle Washington Square Serenade

The Podcast "Supplemental"
with more selections from the featured artists.
Run Time: 27:35

Wait For The Wintertime

2008-12-27T17:56:00.003-06:00

The following is an assorted list of things I have yet to do:

Make any one of the three music related podcasts I have intended to make
Watch the Doctor Who Christmas Special
Watch any holiday related movie
Bake cookies
Remove the Wii I received as a Christmas gift from its packaging
Play in the snow

2008-12-21T21:06:00.000-06:00

2008-11-25T01:35:00.002-06:00

Teacher says, every time Sarah Palin gives an interview, a turkey gets its wings--and by gets its wings, I mean, is slaughtered.

2008-11-20T16:17:00.003-06:00

I happened upon this website during a google search. It gives you some useless information about your name.

For example:

"Your 'Numerology' number is 7. If it wasn't bulls**t, it would mean that you are spiritual, eccentric, and a bit of a loner. Introspective and analytical, you think deeply and prefer seclusion."

Yup, complete bulls**t.

Also, I've been doing some cleaning. And although I realize I haven't mopped in some time, I find it hard to believe that a floor could be that dirty. I mean, it's not like I have dogs, or kids, or a marauding army of Mongolians on horseback traipsing through my kitchen. Well, anyway, it's clean now; or cleanish.

2008-10-14T11:16:00.002-05:00

Recently, I heard someone say, "Education is not a solipsistic affair." I thought that was a pretty bold statement coming from a man who doesn't exist.

Ars Economica

2008-10-09T00:21:00.005-05:00

I regret that I have not been writing about the economy. I don't mean over the last few weeks; I mean over the years. So, below is a brief recap of my economic views over the last decade. There's no way to prove that I actually had these ideas at the time; you just kind of have to take my word for it.

Late 90s
Situation:
The so-called "dot-com" boom fuels economic growth and a federal budget surplus.

Analysis:
GDP growth is a result of increased productivity through the application of new technology (B2B). Productivity gains will plateau causing growth to slow.

Proposal:
Encourage investment in alternative energy (long term) and green technologies (short term) which will create new technologies and productivity growth. (I used to call this idea "Sustainable Growth"™ an homage to the concept of "sustainable development.")

What Actually Happened:
Irrational exuberance came to an end when overvalued stocks began to fall. Consolidation in telecommunications failed to live up to the hype.

Early Aughts
Situation:
Recession. George W. Bush takes office with a federal budget surplus.

Analysis:
Economic growth is increasingly tied to consumption. The end of the "dot-com" boom causes job losses in technology and service industries. Overall consumer spending is compromised.

Proposal:
Use federal money to invest in national infrastructure. Repair roads, bridges, build schools. (And high speed rail?!) Creates short term (5-10 year) boom in construction while addressing long term infrastructure needs. Creates jobs which prop up consumption. (This is basically the opposite of trickle down economics. Give money to those who spend the largest percentage of their income in order to create growth. Yeah, I'm a socialist.)

What Actually Happened:
Massive tax cuts that make the income tax less progressive. Deficits. 9/11. Federal bailout for airline industry. War in Afghanistan.

Mid Aughts
Situation:
Consumer spending and tax revenue as a percentage of GDP rebound. Recession ends. War with Iraq. Deficits increase.
I was wearing an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time.

Analysis:
Decline in the value of the dollar decreases trade deficit. Consumer spending is propped up by housing prices as consumers use their homes as ATM machines. A housing glut will cause home prices to fall and consumer spending will be significantly impacted.

Proposal:
Um... well, I can't really tell developers to stop building homes no one needs and condos that are going to be half empty when completed. Also, it looks like we're stuck with a budget deficit and a costly war. All I can suggest is try to grow out of the deficit. See: Proposal for Late 90s.

Today
Situation:
Fucked.

Analysis:
It may be much worse than I thought.
Our economy has, for some time, run on consumption. Consumption has run on borrowed money. If nobody can borrow money anymore, we're screwed. The bailout may not even work. At this point there may be so much money in worthless investments that even buying mortgage backed securities at $0.80 on the dollar may not provide enough capital to save the banking industry. What I can't tell is if the banks that seem to have enough capital to snatch up the ruins of Wachovia, Washington Mutual, et.al. are strong enough to survive. If they are, then we'll experience a temporary credit freeze and recession, but we'll live to borrow another day. If they aren't and $700 billion isn't enough to save them, the government might not be able to borrow enough money to compensate. That's when we're toast.

Proposal:
End the war. Give up the empire. Cut defense spending by at least 50%. Even if we make it through this crisis, we're on an unsustainable path. Cross your fingers, toes, etc. and pray to your lord and savior Adam Smith.

2008-09-30T12:37:00.002-05:00

I ate two fortune cookies:

"You will soon be crossing great waters on a fun vacation."

That's unlikely.

"You are a natural leader."

Not according to my scouting report.

2008-09-30T11:54:00.002-05:00

I've done about a 90º rotation on the bailout plan. I'm now about 60º away from thinking it's not necessary at all. It's become clear to me now, that the approach to the problem that Paulson wants to take is backwards. However, it is in line with the customary practice of moving money from public hands into private hands.

This is the 2nd best explanation of the mortgage crisis that I've seen.

Untitled

2008-09-28T06:19:00.003-05:00

Being in danger of setting an all-time record for fewest blog posts in a month, I've decided to release this unfinished product from the discontinued acb a cappella.

Untitled

Note: There's 20 seconds of dead air at the beginning.

2008-09-02T15:54:00.002-05:00

Hey kids,

Unless, you're skipping school to demand a better education.

In that case, you can keep as many children as you can find out of school their first week in order to sanction an administrative body which has no direct control over the policy with which you disagree. You can further bring much needed attention to your cause by busing those students to Winnetka and pretending to register them at a school where classes started nearly two weeks ago. That way, the students participating in your boycott can either miss a week at their own school or two weeks at a new school that will, in any case, not accept a student who lives outside the district.

Then, you can parade those same kids around to local business who have committed the grave crime of having the wrong civic focus. Which only makes sense if you're going to assert that public education should be privately funded. In which case, what was the point of shuttling the kids to New Trier?

The issue of funding for public schools is vital and deserves attention. However, there was clearly a better way to go about this. How about doing the symbolic registration on Aug 21 when classes started at New Trier? And instead of taking the kids into the lobbies of businesses downtown, take them to the state legislature in Springfield. Don't you have an office there Mr. Meeks? Hold a press conference with the governor; make Arnie Duncan go down there with you. Then come back and tell the media that even though the funding for CPS is neither sufficient nor equitable, it's still important that every child be in school on the first day and every day thereafter.

Why We Love It

2008-08-27T03:48:00.003-05:00

Part 1: Victory Right

Part 2: 1000 Yards of Offense

Part 3: The Hits Keep Coming

2008-08-26T07:56:00.002-05:00

The following was printed on a restaurant receipt:

"If we neglected to charge you for any item of your order we are sorry. Please inform the manager and you will receive that item for free."

2008-08-21T03:25:00.002-05:00

Hastily recorded without accompaniment.

I Don't Want to Live on the Moon

2008-08-19T01:38:00.004-05:00

I've always figured that if I trained for it, the one Olympic event I could be competitive in is the Steeplechase. But, I watched the Steeplechase tonight and I think my previous assertions were foolhardy.

First, despite my natural athleticism, I'm concerned that I would end up like this guy.

Or worse...

Second, I'm not as fast as a Kenyan. Although, with the right training regimen, perhaps one of my descendants will be.

2008-08-11T05:04:00.003-05:00

I'm always slightly unnerved by the unabated jingoism that is unmasked, even encouraged, whenever the nations of the world gather to compete. A constant tab is kept of Olympic medals won by each country as if the total was in itself a judgment on the respective worth of the competing nations. (I noticed that South Korea briefly led the "medal count." Therefore South Korea is better than all other nations; or at least, was for a few hours.) Even more troubling are the lengths to which some governments will go to increase the number of medals won. The current host country, is particularly driven toward this end.

I am continually impressed with how efficiently the Chinese government administrates an overpopulated, economically progressive and geographically vast nation with authoritarianism. China is an exemplary model of order through political repression.

For all these reasons, I had intended to boycott the Olympics. However, ultimately, the allure of sports televised live in the middle of the night is too much for me to resist. Although I haven't been paying close attention to the glowing screen across the room, I find myself disappointed at the moment because coverage of swimming and gymnastics has recently concluded.

Detroit Rock City Pt. Deux

2008-08-05T03:58:00.003-05:00

Wait, I forgot this one; also Kwame related. It's not the transcript, it's the dramatic reading I find amusing. Hell Yeah!

2008-08-03T16:17:00.002-05:00

Video: I wonder if you have to turn up the volume on the Mission of Burma DVD loud enough to rival their live performance? What's that? I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome Mission of Burma is.

Detroit Rock City

2008-08-01T04:38:00.002-05:00

More video. I heard about this on NPR today and I want to dedicate this video to Jimmy and Kathleen; your pain, I feel it.

Also, while browsing the related videos I found this one.
I believe the expression, "oh, snap!" was invented for this moment.

Ante Up

2008-07-25T10:03:00.002-05:00

Hi. I have a tape I want to play...

Since I'm in one of those "I have no actual content" periods, I thought I'd share with you a video I've been enjoying which I (and the readers of Gaper's Block) were hipped to by Troyal.

Muppets 4 Life.

2008-07-16T12:56:00.002-05:00

alpha charlie bravo presents:
The Backhanded Compliment of the Day

"It's ok. You're not that bad of a person."

This has been The Backhanded Compliment of the Day, an alpha charlie bravo presentation.

And now, the second Jim Henson Wilson's Meats marketing film. It's post-modern satire at its muppety finest.

2008-07-10T01:31:00.004-05:00

Last week, while listening to WBEZ I heard about the Lincoln Park Zoo's snow leopard , Yiet Yang, being euthanized. The commentator stated that the animal "...will be remembered for her feistiness and disdain for human beings."
I think that's how I want to be remembered.

And now, more muppet advertising.
This video is six minutes long, but it's worth it for the violent punchline toward the end.

2008-07-08T01:30:00.004-05:00

alpha charlie bravo presents:
The Backhanded Compliment of the Day

"You're alright, acb. I don't care what anybody says about you, you're alright."

This has been The Backhanded Compliment of the Day, an alpha charlie bravo presentation.

2008-07-07T12:38:00.002-05:00

Hi there! If you don't have the RSS feed on your blog turned on, please turn it on, so that this page can know when your blog is updated. Or not, if you really don't want to. Also, there is a new artist at the music blog.

And now, for your amusement or possibly horror:

2008-07-04T04:21:00.003-05:00

And now, to honor America, alpha charlie bravo presents the 100 Greatest Americans:

1. George Washington
2. Martin Luther King Jr.
3. Abraham Lincoln
4. Frederick Douglass
5. Franklin D. Roosevelt

Assorted others:

38. Robert F. Kennedy
47. Noam Chomsky
49. Ralph Nader
55. César Chávez
61. Paul Robeson
72. Saul Alinsky
89. Robert McNamara

Note:
My list > this list

2008-06-27T01:25:00.001-05:00

I happened to notice earlier today that my iTunes catalog now has exactly 6000 songs. Although, some of those "songs" are my own podcasts and recordings and other miscellany. If I were to employ strict quality controls on the catalog I could probably purge a couple hundred files that either aren't music or simply aren't any good. Regardless, the problem I have now is the number: 6000. It's such a clean, simple number; I'm reticent to change it. As soon as I add the next album, whatever it may be, that lovely, elegant number will be gone and in its place will be an awkward 6011 or 6013. I am slightly troubled by this.

Scouting Report

2008-06-26T03:13:00.002-05:00

alpha charlie bravo
5'10" 235 lbs.
homo sapiens sapiens

Positives:
Intelligent. Compassionate. Has a variety of interests and derives pleasure from simple pursuits. Is slow to anger; has a calm demeanor and even temperament. Has an active sense of humor and a wit that can amuse others. Patient. Fundamentally kind; almost never acts with intended malice, meanness or cruelty. Generous and helpful. Unpretentious. Intellectually curious. Open minded; is able to learn from others and respects alternate points of view. Fiercely rational. Honest and fair. Introspective and self aware. Carefully considers consequences before taking action. Capable writer with a good understanding of standard english usage.

Negatives:
Diffident. Lazy. Extremely shy. Lacks the basic assertiveness to accomplish every day tasks. Does not possess natural leadership skills. Resistant to change. Fails to translate intellect into achievement. Aloof and solitary. Struggles to acquire and maintain relationships. Has been known to alienate friends and rarely makes new ones. Does not understand basic social cues. Fiscally irresponsible. Will ignore the consequences of actions even when those consequences are well understood. Has many talents, but does not excel at any particular skill. More of a dreamer than an accomplisher. Not a fully self actualized individual.

Overall:
Struggles to find his place in a world he can not save.

2008-06-25T03:35:00.002-05:00

Hey kids, check out the music blog (Let's see how long I keep this one up.)
I'm not comfortable writing about music; or talking about it, for that matter. I'm always happy to share, but I don't possess many articulated ideas about the music I listen to. I ran into this problem with the Album of the Year podcast. I'd rather present the music than talk about it. Ultimately, any artistic object has to speak for itself, but I am struck particularly dumb at the task of describing the significance of sounds. I could not be a music critic. So, there may be a dearth of writing at the music blog, but there will be mp3s to listen to and YouTube videos to view.

Eats, Shoots & Leaves

2008-06-21T14:33:00.002-05:00

After having read this article, I have resolved to use more semicolons. Just, not at the moment.

Faded From the Winter

2008-06-21T13:59:00.004-05:00

Iron and Wine a cappella. Horribly off beat.

Lover, You Should Have Come Over

2008-06-21T13:37:00.003-05:00

Another Jeff Buckley song. The file is too big to fit on Geocities; it's seven and a half minutes of aural torture.
The Geneva Convention doesn't apply.

2008-06-06T13:54:00.002-05:00

I would like to acknowledge Hillary Clinton and Juan Uribe for (reluctantly) ceding to my demand that they go away. Robert Mugabe, don't make me come out there...

2008-06-03T12:11:00.002-05:00

With Barack Obama poised to claim the Democratic Party's nomination for president. Let us soberly contemplate the nature of the office he seeks:
The Cult of the Presidency

And now, The Best of alpha charlie bravo presents an excerpt from an untitled post written during the election season of 2004.

July 29, 2004:
...if we hope to change our country, if we hope to change the world, (and we must for our survival now clearly depends on it) that hope for change cannot be embodied by any man or woman that has or ever will come to the podium at a party convention. Whatever progress in human history that has made our world less vulgar, less cruel; that has subdued iniquity or expanded opportunity, has only come about through the constant and difficult struggle for freedom. If we have become more civilized it is not because civilization was bestowed upon us by a sovereign power. It is because we have demanded justice and equity wherever these fundamental human values have been absent.

When the government does not speak in harmony with your voice, it is necessary to vote for change, but this is not sufficient. Government is a war against the people. Democracy is our strongest weapon in this war and our only hope. But, the struggle does not end in the voting booth, it only begins anew.

2008-05-29T10:41:00.001-05:00

I have recently concluded that there may be a hidden benefit to being in the company of a vegetarian. Suppose, heaven forbid, you and your company find yourself in a situation not entirely unlike that of the Donner Party. Having vegetarians among your group simplifies the potentially tortuous decision of whom to cannibalize first. (But only as a last resort, of course.) Finding yourselves already unable to subsist on the land, the vegetarian has no dietary options. Further, someone who refuses, on whatever grounds, to eat beef is an unlikely candidate to partake in the consumption of human flesh. In all likelihood, weak from a lack of protein, the vegetarian will collapse on his own saving you the trouble of a gruesome and evil murder.
So do not shun the vegetarian. Keep him close. He may one day be your only salvation.

2008-05-27T08:03:00.003-05:00

All right kids, it's time to get back to work.
Many of you are familiar with Goodreads. Well, recently I was notified by email that someone named John had sent me a message via Goodreads. I figured it was probably an administrator notice, but I clicked through anyway. It was from an instructor I had at NU.
It read:

"It's John [surname redacted], as you see, & I was gratified to discover your kind words about my [title redacted], here on Goodreads. I believe I remember who you are -- you stood out, really -- & I'd be happy to add you as a friend."

I didn't remember writing any book reviews on Goodreads, so I searched for the title in question to see what I had actually written. Here's what I wrote and what appears as the only review of this book on the Goodreads site:

"In his brief time as an Associate Professor at Northwestern University, John [surname redacted] had the pleasure of having me as a student in his fiction writing class."

Wow.
I'm a pompous ass.

2008-05-27T07:19:00.002-05:00

And now, more selections from acb a cappella, in stores never.
Dust on the Window by Low (with a bad audio loop),
Lonesome Tears by Beck (with lots of overmodulation and bad harmonies--yum!),
The Kiss by Judee Sill (with unintelligible lyrics).

2008-05-08T00:37:00.004-05:00

A brief list of people who need to go away:

Hillary Clinton:

Look lady, I'm sorry your coronation got hijacked by a better candidate. But it's time to stop throwing the plumbing fixtures and move on with your life. You have, remarkably, made the substantial portion of the population that already didn't like you achieve new, previously unimagined levels of loathing. ...And take your husband with you.

Robert Mugabe:

You vile, murderous, octogenarian despot. The enmity in my heart for you is so deep and profound that a portion of my capacity to love humanity is destroyed at the mere mention of your sickeningly continued existence. DIAF.

Juan Uribe:

I am convinced that whenever your swung bat collides with a pitched ball, such an event is a result of a startling coincidence rather than an intentional act. Every day that you are permitted to don a White Sox uniform, Nellie Fox rotates 45 degrees in his hallowed grave.

Scouting Report:

2008-04-25T11:54:00.002-05:00

alpha charlie bravo
DE/LB 5'10" 220 Lbs.
De La Salle Institute

Positives:
Smart, aggressive player with excellent instincts and awareness. Has a thick frame and can add more muscle. Plays with good strength and leverage on the line. Does not get overpowered by bigger offensive tackles. Is a nuisance for opponent's running game. Seems to almost have a sixth sense for reading running plays. Does not get fooled by traps or counters. Plays well in space. Never quits on a play and will make tackles all over the field. Sure tackler who hits with authority and wraps the ball carrier. Uses hands well on the line to fend off blocks, shedding linemen to make the play.

Negatives:
Not a lean athlete. Has a tendency to put on weight. Undersized for a defensive lineman. Not an accomplished pass rusher. Lacks explosive burst off the line. Played in a "bend, don't break" style defense which did not require him to penetrate upfield. Lacks the speed to be effective in coverage as a linebacker. Gets sucked in by play action. Does not get deep enough when dropping into coverage. Will occasionally over-pursue, but does not have the speed to recover. Does not take on blocks in space, preferring to run around blockers.

Overall:
Good athlete who is liked by coaches and respected by teammates. Best suited to play situationally as a defensive end. Lacks the speed and natural pass rushing ability of other undersized ends like Elvis Dumervil, but still has room to develop. Has good upside if he can add strength and become an effective pass rusher. Could make an impact as a special teams player.

Draft Projection:
Free Agent

2008-04-22T00:51:00.003-05:00

I was saving this hunk to use in the podcast but, you know, what podcast? So, I'm just going to drop it here.

Even if Hillary Clinton wins Pennsylvania today, it is extremely unlikely that she will ever overtake Obama in the number of pledged delegates. So, why has Clinton expended so much time, effort and money simply to stay in a race she has no legitimate way of winning?

In 2000, Hillary Clinton was in a tight New York Senate race with Rudy Giuliani. Early on, Giuliani began to take a lead in the polls. But suddenly, something changed and Clinton would ultimately become the junior Senator from New York. What changed? Rudy Giuliani contracted prostate cancer and was forced to withdraw from the race.

Now, Hillary Clinton's strategy at this point in her 2008 campaign for the Democratic Presidential nomination becomes clear: Give Obama Cancer.

Isn't that, after all, what the "kitchen sink" strategy is all about? To cause sufficient damage to the opposing candidate so that he can no longer be considered a viable option for voters.

In other news, Clinton campaign staffers were seen handing out free blankets to Native Americans. [rimshot]

2008-04-15T07:49:00.002-05:00

Italy: wtf?

Then again, I've seen worse.

2008-04-14T00:04:00.004-05:00

Breaking News:

My little brother, whom you may best remember as the bearded, M16 toting, Army Intel Officer shown in photos from Afghanistan like the one below, is getting married!

Medicine Magazines

2008-04-12T10:53:00.002-05:00

Another sparkling achievement for acb a cappella. Low a cappella There's clapping! Stunningly arrhythmic clapping. Also needs someone who can play an instrument.

2008-04-05T19:22:00.004-05:00

2008-03-31T14:31:00.002-05:00

2008-03-25T10:58:00.004-05:00

I hereby announce the long overdue invocation of the Thaksin Shinawatra Rule for:

Kwame Kilpatrick.
Please, go away.

Resurrection Blues

2008-03-23T09:23:00.003-05:00

When I first awoke this morning, I thought it was Monday. When I finally realized what day it actually is, I felt like a man who had come back from the... no, that's going to far.

Easter has always seemed like a second rate holiday to me. It's right up there with Flag Day. But, maybe it's just me. After all, without the resurrection Christianity wouldn't be a religion and Christopher Hitchens would have one less thing to complain about.
So Happy Easter, everyone.